It could be the fear of being eternally alone, or the fact that every event I was at over the weekend saw me as being the only person without a rock or without the prospect of a rock, that now brings me here before you admitting that in the ways of finding love, I have pretty much tried it all. Speed dating, trolling the interwebs responding to russian bride wanted adds or picking up randoms in a bar, you name it I have tried it with some what hilarious results. So here they are, in all their amusing glory
The most tried and tested method (well some what tested) would have to be the world of internet dating. Now days there are so many different sites on the market that it could be confusing as to where one should go fishing. I have tried a couple in the form of Oasis, EHarmony and recently I gave Zoosk a bit of a bash. For those of you that havent tried internet dating before, here is a brief run down for you. You make a profile to tell the world about yourself, put up some photos (the best ones of you of course that hide all your "special" traits) and wait for the offers to come rolling in.
My first tryst into the online world was with Oasis Active a good few years ago, it had been a long time since relationships and I was looking for something to give my self esteem a bit of a prop up (while we are being honest and all) and it worked for a while, not meaning to toot my own horn, but toot toot, look at me, I am pretty gorgeous and because of that had to sift through 50 - 100 new requests a day. Sadly most of these request only wanted the sex but it was ok, because they normally asked within the first 5 sentences so I knew what they were all about. I chatted to a few guys, went on a few dates and even had a two month stint with a "boyfriend" whom I had met on line. Because of its free nature though there were a lot of window shoppers that were just looking for the same prop up as I was.
My time with EHarmony and Zoosk were much the same, slow moving and with very few dates, It appears that the people that have to pay may possibly not be interested in me or I am not interested in them. Each stint in the online dating word only ever lasted a few weeks max because I got sick of people constantly asking me to talk to dirty to them. That kind of service doesn't come for free, that's what my 1800.... ummm never mind. I am a big supporter of the online dating world though, a lot of my friends have had great success with it and have met people they were in long term relationships with. In this day and age it is a highy viable way of meeting someone.
Probably the funniest online dating story I have happened mid last year, I had started to chat to this awesome guy and we were getting along online smashingly so decided to catch up for dinner on a Friday night, on driving out to meet him it suddenly struck me that I couldn't actually remember what he looked like. Well never fear, I had a new fan dangled smart phone so I could just log onto the site and look at his photos right? WRONG. When logging in, the page wouldn't scroll over far enough for me to see his photos. I am at this stage in full on panic, running late and not knowing what to do. So as to not let my date think I had stood him up, I sent him a text to tell him I was running late and then called my best friend to get her to log in from home and send me an mms of one of the photos. BRILLIANT PLAN. Well turns out that wasn't going to work either because her computer wasn't working. In the end I had to wing it, I rocked up to the meeting place 15 minutes late, called my date and thankfully he walked out the front to meet me so crisis averted. We ended up having an amazing dinner and are still friends to this day.
Another brain wave that I had was to try speed dating. It was always something that I had thought about but one of my friends, Miss Tasmania found a Spreets voucher offering speed dating at a reduced rate. Dating had never been so cheap!! Speed dating allows you to have a series of 7 minute dates with perspective suitors all in the one evening and generally they give you champagne and canapés to keep you lubricated. Our Speeddating was held at a trendy inner city bar and there were 12 suitors (I think), the general idea is the girls sit in the same spot and the boys move around the room when the bell rings. The most important idea to remember when speed dating is to make notes on the people that you meet because its pretty easy to forget who was who. At the end of the night you mark yes or no to if you would like further contact with any of your dates and if they mark the same as you, you will receive their contact details the next day. I ticked yes to 6 people and out of them 5 ticked yes for me (yeah I am that awesome) I only heard from one of the guys (well technically two because I already knew one of them) and that was ok as well. I didnt go into it with any expectations, as I do with all my dating adventures, there is no point getting your hopes up because generally you will be left disappointed. It was a mixed bag of participants from people that were actually there seriously and people that were just using it as a joke to get drunk, needless to say, the second people ruined it for everyone else.
So what do you talk about for 7 minutes? For me personally I don't have any problem with finding strange things to talk about and break the ice. My number one icebreaker question was "If you had a tail, what kind of tail would you have?" the reason that I like this question is because it can give you an insight into the person that you are talking to, it lets you know if they can think outside the box and have a bit of fun with life. I would have a Peacocks tail (tough one hey?) because it would get all the bitches. It may seem like a strange question but it gave me a launch pad for more questions and conversations and it sure as hells beats the general "how old are you, what do you do for a job etc etc". and I am 100% sure that my questions made me stand out to these guys.
This was my speed dating drawing of tales
I am reading a book at the moment called "The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society" its about guys that devote their lives to picking up women. I don't think that I am committed enough to make it my life career choice but I am willing to put in the hard yards until I find that something that complements me. So far that hasn't happened but maybe I just haven't tried all the options... I haven't been on a blind date before, maybe that's what I will try next, so if anyone has any awesome friends that they can see me with drop me a line (I am only being half serious). I know that once you aren't looking for it, it will pop up, but I also think it cant help to give them a nudge in the right direction
Love and Disasters
P.S This post was written, not only because its amusing but because at the moment I am feeling like something is missing in my life, it could be a relationship or meaning or it could just be a really good bacon sandwich that is missing. By writing it down it gave me a chance to remind myself that I am looking outside the box and giving myself an opportunity to meet new people and not expecting prince charming to show up on my door step. My biggest pet hate is people that constantly get upset about being single and expect love to just fall into their laps. I have a news flash for these people, unless you put yourself out there, give it some time and have an open mind you will be forever alone. You will not meeting someone by staying in your house all day. Well thats my opinion anyway