Tuesday 16 October 2012

The first time I.....

Life is an adventure (or it should be) and in this adventure there are going to be a lot of firsts. So please join me as I take my first "steps" down memory lane 

My First Day of High School - well lets call this my first day of real high school. I grew up in a little country town, the high school was attached to the primary school and we pretty much knew all out teachers before we got there so it wasn't that big of a move. Year 8 was really a nothing but Year 9, well that was something else. I moved from the country to the Big Smoke and started school at a school that had more students in one year group than in my whole school combined. It was disastrous and scary and me being the retarded me made a fool of myself by getting lost and smashing my face into a set of stairs. 



My First Driving Lesson - so whilst most people had to wait until they were 17 to learn to drive my older sister decided that she would give me a bash at it when I was 15. She has just gotten her licence and decided to give me a burn around the block. All was going swimmingly until a car started driving behind us, in my inexperience I panicked and was calmly told to pull over to the side (which happened to be on my next door neighbours front lawn), I pulled over and some how managed a mini sit brake and dug up my neighbours lawn. I seem to remember us both panicking and quickly pulling into our driveway to never mention it again.



My First Car - It was a 1980 Datsun 200B, it was green and amazing. My mum got it when I was three months old so it had been in my family forever. It had its own special smell, kinda a mix of old vinyl, stale maccas chips (I had a bit of a Maccas addiction back in the day) and exhaust fumes. It meant freedom, adventure and many many laughs. It had a special car tape and only one speaker which sat between the seats. This is probably the most reliable car I have owned and I miss it every day



My First Job - When I finished school I needed money to pay for having a life and I got a job working with my sister at Bucking Beef slinging meat. This made me highly attractive to dogs who liked to lick my shoes. It was a good first job, I met some cool people (who I am still friends with today as one of them is married to my friend from School) and learnt how to carve a mean Roast. I ended up getting fired from that job (I think) because work was not my highest priority. And you know what I am actually totally cool with that because you need to live while you are young 



My First Kiss - I was a late bloomer and due to a stint in a religious life I didn't have my first kiss until I was 17. His name was Jason (more on him later), I was wearing a black skivvy and a black and white fluffy cow print skirt (fuck you and your judging it was 2000, fashion was interesting) and I was so nervous that when he tried to kiss me I was mid sentence and I just kept trying to talk. Classy... yep 



My First Boyfriend - his name was Jason he was 22, from NSW and I met him online. He flew to WA to be with me. I must be a bit of a trend setter, I was into Internet dating before Internet dating was cool. It wasn't really love at first site, it was disjointed and strange and very short lived. I do remember sneakily seeing his willy and it was pretty big, even by today's standards



My First Time Drinking - Like with the kissing I was a late bloomer and didn't have my first drink until I was 17.5, I was in the courting stage with my second boyfriend and he had just moved into his new house so was having a few drinks to wet the new houses head. I took a six pack of Mez Beer from my mum and headed off for a night of fun. I drank the six pack and followed it up with a few shots of Kahlua and Cointreau and I was done. My first drinking turned into my first vomiting and in the morning my first hang over. I remember having the boyfriend give me a bag to vomit in, and in his genius it was a bag with holes in it. 



My First Accident - it happened outside the house mentioned above, I had just reversed out of the Driveway and was about to put it into first to take off when I looked in the rear view mirror and saw a Honda Prelude hurtling towards me in reverse and BANG!!! Old mate hit my precious little Datsun. Thankfully Datsuns are made of tough stuff and there was no damage to my car and a caved in rear end on the Honda. I think that this may be the reason as to why I hate Hondas to this day



My First "Time" - I know a lot of people have horror stories about this, but I was one of the lucky ones. I had been dating the boy for a few months, he took me out on a lovely dinner, I had a nice blue dress on and I had bought sensible but sexy lingerie (it was Burgundy Satin with Granny Pants, gosh darn sexy). There was music and candle light (I had the stub of the candle up until recently when I moved to Melbourne) and it was amazingly romantic and special. I will always be eternally grateful to him for making it so special for me



My First Tattoo - I think I have written about this before, I got it at the age of 18 after much deliberation and consternation. I settled on a Celtic dragon to prove my originality (I actually used to have a reason why I got it but off the top of my head I cant remember what it was now) It was about 10cm long and 3cms wide. I was by far the coolest kid on the face of the planet for getting a tattoo that was so big. Hardcore



My First House - All teenagers dream about growing up and moving out of home (don't they?) and I moved out at the ripe old age of 19 into a fancy two storied house on Joel Terrace in Mount Lawley, imagine, new town house, views of the river, surrounded by mansions and all for the Tidy Sum of $250 a week (which we thought at the time was a lot). I learnt a lot in that house and the main thing was that living with friends is shit and they may not be your friends at the end of it 



My First Drug Experience - Like with kissing and dating I got into everything much later than everyone else. I had drugs for the first time when I was 20 or 21 and I did it specifically because someone had told me not to. I did it and patted myself on the back as I texted the person who had said I wasn't to, for beating him at his own game. He promptly left where he was to come and make sure that I was alright and we got back together because of this. So while it was the wrong thing to do it was with a good outcome in the end I guess. I also did things backwards and totally missed the gateway drugs and went straight to the hard stuff. Maybe my life of religion made my mind mixed up 





My First Strip Club - I don't think it is an secret that I admire the female form and as all good admirers of the female form should, I have been known to frequent Adult Entertainment Venues which are known for getting the women disrobed. I went to a Strip Club in Melbourne when I was 26 and paid a lovely lady called "Emma" to take her clothes off for me. She had the most amazing Tan which she told us was fake and I remember her saying to me "You didn't pay me to look at my eyes". I am unsure as to who was more excited, me or my mates who were watching. 



My First Solo Trip - Things don't always go as planned, I was meant to be going with a boy but when shit hit the fan it was time to go it alone. I was planned down to the last detail it was just a matter of getting on the plane. I learnt more about myself on this trip than I ever had before and it helped to remind me who I was. 



My First Moving State - People say that its big and brave and they could never do it, but in reality packing up and shipping off to a place where you don't know anyone isn't actually that big a deal, it has turned out to be much easier than what I had expected 

My First Post about my First Things - Like I was saying, there has to be a first time for everything and you don't get a second chance for first impressions. I cant wait to see what firsts come next...

Loves and Number 1s 

Miss K