Monday, 13 August 2012

No Good Guys Left?

Are we unconsciously fucking the world for ourselves because of the attitudes we have and the actions we make, is it a pattern of rinse and repeat. People continue to follow the same path and expect a different outcome. You let a guy treat you mean and keep running back and then complain that there are no nice guys, how can you tell when you aren't giving the good guys a chance? Why do we play into the Treat em mean routine? Are we so indecisive and fearful of being alone that its good to have someone at arms length in case you decide that you want them? Are you waiting for something better to come along? How about we all just man up and realise that this act doesn't get anyone anywhere, a bit of niceness goes a long way, and if we don't start to realise this soon the world will just be full of jaded humans who don't get what it should actually all be about 

The concept of treat them mean, keep them keen has always baffled me, for the fact that it makes no sense and the fact that it actually works. When did someone realise that this was a thing and when did girls decide it was a good idea to go along with it? All Girls (and I will include myself in this box) are guilty of this. Its as if we have to keep chasing after someone that's keeping us at arms length because we can not conceive that they may not want us, we are conditioned to think this is the way its meant to be and for me its probably because I'm to stubborn to give up. My last relationship was a perfect example of this, he was amazing when he was with me but when we were apart he was so distant that I couldn't reach him (I am talking emotionally, physically I think the kid has his phone glued to his hand). Yet I kept trying and giving it everything because I put too much stock in the fact that he was a good guy but really I should have read the signs and seen it for what it really was and jumped ship earlier. It would have saved me a hell of a lot of sleepless nights and heart ache. Guys can do "treat em mean, keep em keen" because we let them.

Don't think for a second that the shoe doesn't fit on the other foot as well. I know that girls live by this same mantra as well. Have we ever thought that there are maybe no nice girls around? I asked my friend recently how he could still be single. He is very tall and good looking with eyes you could get lost in, has manners that his mother would be proud of and has an ability to make girls feel secure and precious. His response to my question made me sad (and a little bit angry if I am totally honest), he told me it was because girls always fucked him around because he was too nice. He told me that he was going to try and start treating girls mean but he knows that he doesn't have it in him. Maybe I guess its lucky that he doesn't because the world would be loosing a true gentleman if he did. If it was a different time and place I'd be going out of my way to get this boy for myself because I'd (and any other girl) be lucky to have him.

We did personality profiling at work recently and its results gave me some insight into who I am and why I act the way that I do. The theory is there are four personality types that a person can fall into, you answer a series of questions and at the end of it you are able to tell if you are Dominant (direct, decisive), Influential (interested in people, interactive), Conscientious (compliant, controller) or Steady (Stable, supporter, secure). It was of no surprise to me at all that my two highest scores were Dominant and Influential (dead tie) and my lowest was Conscientious (a whole 7 points below the other two). Ive always known that I'm a people person and I'm opinionated as hell and this turns me into a bit of a steam roller (I am very self aware of my faults) and this doesn't only count for my work life. The majority of the time this is done in my home life as well. So without even realising that I am doing it maybe I'm at fault of treating them mean. I like to get my own way and unless people stand up to me I will rail road them. Looking back with the gift of time I realise I did it to Ikea Flat Pack for years and then when he tried to stand up to me I wouldn't have it. If you let someone create a pattern they will continue this way. I'm more vigilant with it these days and try to catch myself before I do it, but it made me realise the person I need to be with. 

I don't know if its just me, or if this is a common thing but most of the guys that I end up meeting have been treated badly and overrun by past relationships. Is it that there are so many out there or is there something about me specifically that they gravitate towards? Do we as humans need someone to take control for a while? By going to someone that is Dominant I guess it gives them a bit of breathing room. From what I have seen if a guy gets burnt he generally closes off and tars all women with the same brush while women are more willing to try and put it behind them and try and move on. If this is the case really what chance do girls have? Everyone gets burned eventually

Maybe the sexes aren't so different after all, the boys think there are no nice girls and the girls think there are no nice boys. They are out there, I believe it, you just need to give them a chance. Remember one mans trash is another mans treasure and in this is the time for recycling. And remember you need to start a relationship the way that you plan to continue it. Let them treat you mean from the start and they will more than likely treat you mean forever. Just something to think about 

Love and Love 

Miss K 

Tuesday, 7 August 2012

Its not the size, its how you use it?

I pose you a serious question, What is the number one male fixation? What Beer to drink, two shakes or three or if they want their sub with double cheese? It could be any one of these  but because I am not a man I guess I may not be qualified to comment but I have a theory, The number one male fixation is wanting to have a bigger cock. I base this on the fact that everyone guy I know (bar one or two) have expressed their desire for a longer slong. I will admit that sometimes, yeah some men could do with a bit of an upgrade but sometimes I have had to look at them incredulously and go "Say What?". After all as I've gotten older I've realised that the old adage of "its not the size its how you use it" may actually be pretty true. So boys whats your deal?

I experienced "Big" very early on in my sexual career (its not really a career but I am not sure what else to call it) and my face must have given away everything to this poor boy. As he disrobed he looked at me with hurt in his eyes and said "Why does everyone always pull that face?". How could I answer a question like that? I think I mumbled out something like... umm cause its big. I ended up being in a long term relationship with this guy and his "package" admittedly caused some issues. Sex became an issue because it was difficult and stressful and mostly painful and probably played a big role in the break down of our relationship. Could my relationship have been saved if he had a normal size package? I guess we will never know. So bigger, is not better. Most certainly not.

Don't get me wrong though, we were intimate, and thanks to that this little pearler of a story came about. I had gone to the chemist to stock up on some prophylactics and I have to give the chemist assistant props, she was pretty switched on. Imagine an older lady that reminds you of your nan, white hair and bingo wings to boot. I grab the necessities and on rocking up to the counter with a box of extra large condoms and a bag of jelly beans (things always look way less suss if you buy other things as well) the chemist lady kindly lent over the counter, put her hand on my arm and looked imploringly into my eyes and for as long as I live I will never forget what came out of her mouth next "Dear, just because they tell you they need extra large doesn't mean that they actually do". As you can imagine there is little that you can do when an old lady says things like this to you but smile your mortifying smile, take your package and flee from the store at a great rate of knots. This happened when I was 19 and still very young and naive. I would probably handle it different these days, maybe pull out a photo to show her, make the old biddies day.

Going home with someone you haven't slept with before is kinda like a game of Russian roulette, you really never know what you are going to get when you spin the chamber. I will admit that I have gone into events with high expectations from pre conceived notions and stereotypes and I have been reminded harshly to never assume. A few years ago now a very tall very good looking (it appears that all my stories start out this way) ex pro basketballer happened across my path. We hit it off instantly and after a few months of flirting with a heavy air of sexual tension we decided to give it a crack. Well you can imagine my surprise when Mr B-Ball didn't even stretch across my palm when fully erect (yes I know I have big palms, but I just measured it and its 8cm!!!!!! 8CMS!!!!). I hid my surprise well and continued with the routine. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with having a small penis, it was more the fact that he had no idea how to use it and didn't try to make up for it in other ways. In this case having a small penis made him selfish (yep I stand by that). I would like to publicly write that I am not against small packages. The best sexual experience that I have ever had came from someone that was average, but what he lacked in size he surely made up for in skill and determination. This kid is a serial womaniser though so I guess he has had a lot of practice. 


I had an experience recently with a large package that actually hurt my ego (yeah you all thought I was bullet proof hey?). I pride myself on my sufficient oral skills, its whats I do and Ive never had any complaints about it (I am a strong believer in the hello head job) but this one time I got told to stop. He then proceeded to use the line "its not you its me" and that his penis was on the larger side so that even my overly large mouth couldn't protect him from my teeth. . What make this story even funnier is that moments before this he had been telling me it wasn't that big. I guess I shouldn't really complain because it makes my job easier when it comes to this boy. He takes the vote for number two best... see best can come on all ends of the scale and its generally more to do with the other skills than the "SKILL" (that was code for penis, cause I am trying to mix it up).

Boys, take note. If its big or small or bent to the left or slightly odd shaped, you cant change it so rock it instead. ROCK OUT WITH YOUR COCK OUT. If you don't make a big deal out of it she probably wont either. If she is having sex with you it probably means something is special about you, so focus on that fact. And if you are worried about it, up skill yourself in other areas, fuck even if you aren't worried about it up skill anyway. After all a happy wife equals a happy life (please substitute wife for  girlfriend, casual friend or one night stand). And even if you are Captain of the Titanic (this line was used on me recently as a joke) don't go blowing your horn about it. Some girls may be impressed by your Mega Structure but most will probably just think "You want to stick that where?"

You run on steam?

Love and Foreskin 

Miss K 

P.S I would like to make a solid point here, really none of the above matters. They may touch you in the physical sense but what I (and I would guess most girls) am really looking for is an emotional connection. I want to be able to look into someones eyes and have the whole world melt away, I want to be the little spoon and the princess. Its why I do what I do. Its all about the connection at the end of the day and there is no size limit on that. You don't really know good sex until you make love.

P.P.S Mr B-Ball is now married with a kid, this reiterates the above point. Mr Big is in a happily committed long tern relationship as well. I guess its like a jigsaw puzzle you just need to find the piece that fits you

Friday, 3 August 2012

I'll show you mine if you show me yours?

By golly, its been a busy week, work, dancing, work, trying to make friends, getting three pictures of cocks, a bit more work. Yeah see like I said BUSY. I am sure that you glanced over everything else but the Three Cock Pictures caught your eye. Well they caught my eye as well, and not for the first time. Its not just a recent thing either, I have honestly lost count of the amount of "packages" that have been delivered to my phone in the past. When did I become that girl that you send your cock to?  Do they send them to me because of my overtly sexual nature? or do these guys send their johnsons to every girl that they have in their contact list? If this is the case at least I know that I'm not alone and adrift in the cocksea

Here is my catch...

So nudes and sexting? what are my thoughts? I think it has its places, its a great way for couples to know that the other person is thinking about them, or letting a perspective partner know what they are signed up for. Around about 75% of the genitals that I have received in the past though have come from people that I have not had intimate relations with, was this a wasted couple of cents for them? I generally as a rule only send them to people that I am sleeping with, because they at least its something that they have already seen before and where is the harm in that?

Maybe its just me but sometimes if I find a guy sexually appealing I wonder what equipment he is packing downstairs, I thought about this point for a while and I actually do this less than what you would imagine. I guess I really do look at it like its a lucky dip. You aren't meant to know whats inside the wrapping until you stick your hand inside the "box". But I will add a warning, there is honestly nothing worse than when the "surprise toy" doesn't match your expectation. I once received a photo from a very VERY good looking young lad, he was tall and well built so I guess I had high expectation of "little him" but sadly that wasn't the case. From then on, when ever I had to see him I looked at him and laughed a little bit inside thinking about his pantal inadequacies. I will also admit to telling my friends that he had a small cock, so they got a laugh out of it as well. That seems like a bitchy thing to do but its not like I actually showed them the photo, come now I do have some semblance of class. 

My thoughts on nudes of me? Heck yeah, I am all for it and I will admit that I have done it in the past and still do it now. Sometimes I look in the mirror and go "GOD DAMN" and I think that these moments need to be celebrated. The expression "Take a picture it lasts longer" actually comes in handy here, because while the feeling may not last, the picture sure as hell does. Is it wrong to look at photos of yourself and appreciate what you see? I don't really think so. So how did I go from photos for me to photos for everyone? One of my favourite fem bloggers CONSTANTLY warns about the danger of sending nudes and her advise is not to do it but if you do make sure as not include your face so it cant be traced, I guess for someone as tattooed as me my face is really neither here nor there, because my body is just as easily recognisable. I do have my limits though. Its generally only photos of my rack (cause I know they wont be up for ever) and sometimes my arse but NEVER my lady garden. I wonder why this is, if I am honest I am actually pretty scared of Vagina's (yes even my own) and once you've seen one, you have pretty much seen them all. And its whats on the inside that counts anyway

I have learnt however not store photos on my phone any more and I will admit that I learnt this the hard way. Even with the most careful of precautions things can go amiss and the short and curlies can fall into the wrong hands. I guess I was lucky that when this happened to me it wasn't that big of a deal but it made me learn my lesson none the less.  Going back a few years before fancy phones and locking codes I was at the local race track watching the drifts and my phone was in my pocket as I was laying on the grass (or so I thought). I got up to use the toilet and on coming back a friend was reclining on the lawn with my phone on his chest and Cheshire cat smile on his face. I knew straight away that this couldn't be a good thing so I approached with caution. As I got closer to him he threw my phone at me with a wink and remarked "There you go Porno Tits". I am sure you can join the dots on this one, my phone had fallen out on the grass, the young lad had seen his opportunity, seized the moment and scrolled through my pictures and came across the money shot. I am not going to pretend that I wasn't secretly pretty stoked that a young boy was saying I had amazing tits, I had been told this a lot before but it was generally by people that I was having sex with, and we both now that this is some what of a Biased comment. If they want to have intimacies with me again of course they are going to be complementary of my assets. 

I wanna be this girl

So really I am fine with it, I don't plan on getting into politics or marrying a royal any time soon so a few photos of my boobs sitting on some guys phone Inst really going to bother me. Id like to think that I choose carefully to who I send them too and that they would respect the arrangement that we have entered into. Really if they didn't, remember I have evidence as well, so I have a bit of pull on where their "bits of pull" ends up, if you get my drift. So I say, send away, you never know what its going to get you, And maybe "I will show me your if you show me mine is anything" could be the start of something beautiful

Love and Nipples 

Miss K 

P.S Just a little note below to the guys. If you are going to send a photo, it doesn't always need to be of your dongle, there are plenty more appealing parts of your body that don't involve nudity. I got a photo sent to me the other day by The Tattoo boy and it was just his torso and admittedly that photo turned me on way more than a pic of his cock would have (not that there is anything wrong with his cock don't get me wrong). Women like a bit of mystery and we like to use our imagination. A shot of your hip bones (now that's a "bone" I like to see) or your neck and collar bone will win out every time over a picture of your penis. Well for me at least. I guess its something to think about 

This is much sexier than my garden, I bet you want to nibble my neck a little bit..

Wednesday, 1 August 2012

So its not all so Easy....

I've been here Five Weeks 
I have no where to go when the going gets tough
I eat a Donut a Day
I have made Three Friends - my goal had been three in the first week 
My Heart got Broken and I am putting it back together 
There is a spot on Flinders Street that is warm and smells like fresh laundry
I saw a girl annoying her dad at the shop and it made me realise I miss my dad, a lot
My True friends have been revealed and it was a shock
After 29 years I am finally close to my sister who is on the other side of the Country 
I'm constantly worried about money and my Job 
People on the tram mostly smell terrible, I miss my car
I felt Depression creeping up on me
This is Tough

Everyone is asking how I am going, so there is the short version. I have so much respect for anyone that has done the big move alone and handled it seemingly better than I have. I will find my feet though, because I cant fail. Its not all sunshine and light, but the moments of sunshine are worth it all 

Love and Contemplation 

Miss K