Lifes Strange Meetings

It occurred to me last night whilst talking to a close friend of mine Mr Double Fold that possibly I meet people in the strangest of ways, or I leave an odd impression on them. This realisation came to me as he was introducing me to his amazing new Girlfriend and remarked "this is the Kerry, the We Vibe Girl", maybe, I thought, this could be an isolated case of strangeness so I cast my mind back to meetings of various people and it dawned on me, I am that strange person that may make people scratch their head in confusion about what just happened to them. 

Any of my friends will tell you that I have a terrible habit of just "disappearing" when we are out at social events, I put it down to having a short attention span and being attracted to shiny sparkly things, on one of these social occasions I had done my normal disappearing act and set off in search of a lawn bowls green (I had been told there was one), whilst walking through the crowd I accidentally ran into someone, so I apologised and went to move on my way but managed to step on him again!!!! I stopped and put my hand out to him with the explanation "Hi, my name is Kerry and I am a retard" he introduced himself and whilst still holding my hand he asked me what I did and told me to give him a good story. I turned into Kerry the air hostess and he became Punk the pilot and we talked for hours about everything under the sun. 

Off we Go, looking for a bowling Green

The story with Mr Punk didn't actually end there, I some how managed to top myself and get two "awesome" meetings done in one night, as the night was drawing to a close and my friends had long disappeared he asked me if I would like to go to another bar with him and his mates, I had nothing else going on and had lost all my friends so I didn't see the harm in saying yes. We left the pub and as we were travelling down the escalators his friend (who I later found out was his boss) turned around and exclaimed that he needed to change his shirt and my filter malfunctioned and I blurted out "It doesn't matter if you change your shirt, you are still gonna be a ranga" well it turns out that was probably not the best thing I have ever said to someone's boss (it was actually pretty hilarious) The boss stormed off and proceeded to take my new friend with him. I stood on the side walk and laughed hysterically. I did actually run into them further down the road and on walking into the convenience store they were in, despite loud protestations from the boss, I gave my number to Mr Punk. What makes this story even funnier to me is that I ran into them again further down the road and his boss extended his hand, introduced himself and asked how my night had been, clearly his attention span is shorter than mine.

I am a bit of a Hip Hop fanatic and I am not ashamed to admit it, on one fated evening watching a show at the Rosie a tall good looking lad proceeded to come up to me and tell me that I was wearing his shirt (was rocking the flannel) and the went on to spill beer on my high tops, this is like cardinal rule number 1, stay offa my blue suede shoes (these were actually black suede but Elvis didn't sing about that now did he) and I gave this guy a bit of a rev up about it and went on my way. Later in the evening he came up to me with a pen and asked me to sign his shirt (it has been signed by all of the Oz Hip Hop crew) and I looked at him slightly incredulously, he wanted ME to sign his shirt, I laughed and tried to shrug him off but it didn't work so I took his pen and put my Graff Signature (its a crane) very small in the corner. He then proceeded to ask for my number and I wrote it in permanent marker up his arm and surprisingly he actually texted me, the funny thing about this story is he had managed to save me in his phone as "Mel - awesome hip hop girl" so looks like I get to be the alias now. I still see him at every Hip Hop gig I go to, he is a die hard like me so its nice to have people like that to bump into.  

I have further proof to the fact that confidence is key when getting what you want, this is the story of how I met Miss Heap (she is a Geo Rock Licker, but if I call her rock licker kinda makes her sound like a lesbian and she isn't at all) and her merry band of men. My friends and I were on a wine tour of the Swan Valley and the bus was FULL of people, I spied some seats down the back and being the rebel that I am marched down to the back of the bus and said to the seat occupants "Me and my friends are going to sit here" whilst pointing at the small room left on the seat, in stunned awe Miss Heap shuffled along the seat and we sat down. We all started chatting and ended up spending the rest of the day with Miss Heap and her friends and we still catch up for beers every now and again. See bullying can pay off

Hey You, I'm sitting here

And finally we get to the story of meeting Mr Double Fold, aptly named as he was my first real insight into strippers and how to "Tip" them properly, (you know if you double fold the note before you put it in your mouth, they are forced to get closer to you, its nothing but a win situation). Anyway I met Mr DF at a  monthly car cruise, I had recently purchased myself a We Vibe (seriously guys, get your lady friend one of these and bingo....) and I was proclaiming its excellence to a crowd of on lookers (I dont know how we got on this conversation and I am 32.7% sure that it wasnt me that steered the conversation in that direction) and we were all chatting away and I was explaining how it worked when I hear a not so small voice from the back of the crowd proclaim "What about Squirters, does it come with a splash guard?" or something along those general lines (he was even doing actions) ... I was taken a back, I had finally found someone with a broken filter. I think we high fived and it was the birth of a beautiful friendship and happily both our filters are still broken 

This was the night of the double fold, I also learnt another valuable lesson that night - do not try to apply makeup whilst drunk... doesn't work out so well for you 

As part of my research I threw a post up on facebook asking people what their first memory of me was, and the answers were, well, varied... depending on when people met me, the view that I gave off was extremely different. Probably the one that made me giggle the most was a friend from school who said his first memory was of a "overly conservative wally of a girl" I think this could possibly be the only time in my life that I have been called overly conservative.... it feels interesting. The general consensus is of a loud, crazy, bubbly person who is slightly disruptive and lives off trees (hmm this one confuses me ;) maybe). I would like to think that I haven't changed very much and you would still get that view of me if you met me now, but maybe I just stand in different places to be disruptive. 

Why people say its hard to make friends when you are an adult is totally beyond me, I have found that most people are open to making friends, you just need to make an effort to talk to them. As you can see from above, if I can make friends with talking about vibrators, being insulting, violent and telling lies about being an air hostess, I am pretty sure the rest of you wont have any trouble either. Meeting someone for one night, or being friends with them for a life time is generally irrelevant, at that exact point in your life, you were meant to be with them sharing a moment, so don't limit your life by not allowing that 

Love and Vibrations 

Miss K 

P.S The story of Mr Punk and I is actually pretty entwined and shows how small Perth is, the day I met Miss Heap, I had a photo taken with a Ranga guy because his hair was so bright it shocked me, turned out it was the ranga boss. A friend of mine went out for a beer with one of his friends who remarked on meeting a girl who had just got back from drifting in Japan, so my friend exclaimed to his friend "Is she the peacock girl?", turns out my friends mate was Mr Punk. 

See I aint even Lying....

P.P.S When asking for first impressions or how I would be described to peoples friends a mate of mine said this to me, and its the sweetest thing I have heard in a while, he said he described me to a mate once as "she is tough to put in a certain box, best way to describe her is a technicolour rainbow in a black and grey world". It makes me happy to depth of my stomach to know that I can bring colour to peoples worlds 

N,B He said he might like to trade mark that phrase so if you are out and a guy says this to you, act surprised and probably buy him a drink because he is a pretty awesome young lad.

I think this is me