I keep asking myself even to this day, what do I want to be when I grow up. Surely at this stage in my life I should already know the answer to this question but it some what eludes me and being a lady of leisure sadly doesn't pay as well as a normal career does so I guess its back to the drawing board I go.
When I was a wee tacker I wanted to be a clown, I thought there would be nothing better in life than covering myself in make up, going out and entertaining people and making them laugh. When I was about 10 years old I lived in a small country town and like most small country towns, they loved their country music. Every year they had a big country music festival at the local Rec Centre and people flocked to this event in droves to salute the genius of woe is me music (don't get me wrong, I actually really do love country music). One such year my dad was working behind the bar, which saw my sister and I just hanging out and killing time. This year was to become one of the most magical of my life, this year there was a clown, YES A CLOWN, and he was giving train rides.
As a child I was an excitable young thing (some things never really change it seems) so I boldly strutted (as much as a 10 year old can) up to Bozo the Clown, introduced myself and told him that when I grew up I was going to be a clown as well. He must have seen something special in the gleam in my eye and on noticing my potential he asked if I wanted to work with him for the day. I was so excited I could have popped so I ran off to ask my dad if it was OK, he said it was, on the condition that I didn't tell anyone that he was my dad (pretty fair call I guess). I was dressed in clown clothes and a wig, with full make up and it was my job to take the money and help the little kids into the train. It was by far probably the best job Ive ever had. Sadly though I found out that the following day someone stole all of Bozos money :( stealing from a clown is really a pretty low act, so still 20 years later, I say shame on you to the culprit.
I guess my dream of becoming a clown did some what come true, I'm still the life of the party, dress in questionable fashion and sometimes my make up is a cross between a drag queen and a clown. If I am honest the real reason that I didn't follow through with it totally though is because my love for children quickly diminished and the idea of being surrounded by them on the daily sends me running for the hills in my giant novelty shoes.
Next on my list of bright career ideas was something in Public Relations , so when I finished high school I tried to get into Tafe to do just that but missed out by a few points and instead got into a Travel & Tourism Diploma. When I finished my studies though the world was in the grips of world unrest, SARS and September 11 were all over the news and people were starting to loose confidence in the safety of travelling so the market bottomed out very quickly and job prospects were low so I was forced into a job in another field.
Fast forward through 10 years, started as an office junior, moved up to a receptionist position then onto being a typist. Finally after about 18 months I landed in a credit controller role where I stayed ever since. I have moved jobs a few times, won a few awards and cemented myself with a solid career but its been something that is really just a job and nothing more, so now at nearly 30 I'm back thinking about career choices and whats going to fit for me
Career change... overdue
*on a quick little side note - When I finished up my last credit role I was looking for other avenues and one recruitment agent that I visited remarked "you are a bit late in life to be thinking of changing careers aren't you?" as you can imagine I took an instant dislike to this lady. Fuck, I'm 29, still have a good mental capacity and control of my own bladder, why cant I change careers. I have a feeling that the reason she tried to beat me down was because a candidate with my experience in very easy to place and can get higher wages which means higher returns for the agent. I'm totally all over her evil back handedness. I ended up telling her I was set on my decision to change fields so I'd call her when I changed my mind. As you can guess she called me twice a week for about a month to see how my search was going and if I was ready to swallow my pride and accept her help. It was with great satisfaction that I could tell her that I had infact got a job in the new field and was getting the wages that I was after despite her adamantly telling me that I would not Succeed*
So I am on the drawing board at the moment and here at the ideas that I have come up with
I don't know so much if this is a career choice or a genetic persuasion but I'm ready to give being Asian a red hot go. I like everything Asian and have slanty small eyes so I am half way there. I love Asian food, Asian past times (taking photos, Karaoke, drifting and eating pork buns) and have a pension for the cutesy. I did remark to my dad that I was going to become an Asian and he told me that I couldn't because there was to many of them already. I did take the time to point out to him that I would be a good Asian because I know how to park and I can eat with my mouth closed but he wasn't convinced and said that I would stand out to easily and they would be on to me.
Cant You See Im Parking here?
Since he crushed my dreams of being Asian I suggested a possible career in Porn Star Stunt Doubling and he was OK with this. See It has been brought to my attention that I bear a striking resemblance to a porn star by the name of Gianna Michaels, she is a fair skinned, large breasted brunette beauty with the same eyes as me. Since finding out about the likeness I have researched her extensively and just quietly between you and me she is pretty amazing and I'd like to get all up in on that. So I've got some ideas on the best way to tackle this 1. Call her agent, ask if I can be a stunt body and do all the boring shots that she isn't keen on, the only main issue here is that I'm heavily tattooed and she isn't but If there is a will there indeed shall be a way or 2. call her agent and ask if they are interested in hooking up a bit of a twin scene. Ive got this goal to have a lesbian experience by the time that I turn 30 so it would kill two birds with one stone. Lesbian action, a porn career AND cash on the side. BINGO!!!!!!! I would possibly be a bit envious of her boobs though because whilst mine are pretty amazing they are small in comparison to hers.
She has pretty hair....
So these are my two possible future career ambitions, who knows what will happen from here though because I have found life rarely goes to plan. Everyone needs a dream of what they want to be when they grow up, But as some Shaggy Haired Jesus fellow said to me the other day, Growing up can wait, Ive got too much shit to do in the mean time
Love and Painted Faces
Miss K
When I grow up I totally want to bone Shirley Manson... Fuck Yesss!!!!!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment