Friday, 18 May 2012

Seemingly talented Seminal Fluid?

I've been thinking about this a fair bit lately, there is so much talent in the world but my talent cup sadly doesn't overfloweth, My jury is still out on whether talent comes from practice or from pure god given skill, but either way I don't have much of either. Practicing takes hard work and god appears to have forgotten me, clearly there needs to be an easier way to get talented.

Cue last nights reasonings... I went to see Florence and the Machine and while I was there I walked past a Graff artist whos stuff I really like, I was thinking to myself that I would really like some of his talent (and the fact that he is pleasant on the eye and wears balla shoes doesn't hurt either.) I couldn't go and talk to him though because I'm shy so I just watched from afar while devising plans on how to leech his soul ummm I mean skills (doesn't sound as creepy as it actually was, or its not as creepy as it sounds? I cant really decide). Wouldn't it be great if you could have intimate adult relations with someone and at the happy conclusion some of their awesome would be all over you (except I always tarp up so there is not so much awesome on me). I'd even possibly be willing to take it in the eye for the greater good if I could paint like him at the end of it.

Its not just talent with a can that I want though, here are some other things I would like to be good at

Speaking another Language - my choice language at the moment would be Japanese. Ive been studying Japanese on and off for the last 18 months, its frustratingly hard work and it seems like every time I'm close to cracking it something comes up so I have to stop studying. I have so much respect for people that are fluent in another language. Excitingly my new house mate studied Japanese at Uni so I'm going to steal her knowledge (probably just through the conventional methods though, I have a strict rule of no fluid swapping with house mates). I also wouldn't mind learning what ever language it is that the ladies who do my nails speak, just so I can understand what those bitches are really saying about me.

What you say?

Keeping it sideways - I want to drift and I want to do it well. I don't want to look like an octopus trying to save itself from sliding down the side of a cliff. When I drift I am all arms and legs everywhere in a panicked mess. I want to become fluid, as if I'm going to the shop to get milk. I want to loose the fear and just be the awesome. Ive tried being intimate with a drifter or two over the years and whilst they are great at "sliding it in" sadly none of the skill rubs off on me.

Maybe if I was asian it would be easier

Counting my Coins - Maybe I need to be intimate with an accountant or an auditor or a bank manager or someone of the like, not to catch any of the boring but to instead transfer some of the money saving frugal ways that they have. My goal at the start of the year was to get better with my money and I did for a while, I started putting away my money but then a truck kindly decided to make surprise bum sex with my car and all my savings went on that (well I guess that's what savings are for, life's little emergencies. right?) I guess savings just seem like a bit of a waste of time if by saving I miss out on life events you know.

Ummmm I dont know if it means that much to me....

Sleeping on Command - I suck at sleeping, I cant remember the last time that I slept for more than an hour or two without waking up, I've tried everything to remedy this but no dice. One of my exs was a pro at falling asleep at the blink of an eye, I really need to learn that skill, it would make power napping a hell of a lot more successful

I dont like boats but if I could sleep this easy then awesome 

Pluck my strings - I wish I was musical, bitches love musical. Even I swoon when I see a guy playing guitar and a guy playing piano brings tears to my eyes and flutters to my nethers. I am not musical at all and I envy those that are. It would be awesome if I could have that effect on people as well. I think I would like to play the Violin, just because its hell baller. True Story

This is how you do it right?

In return I guess I should give them something as well, They can have a small portion of my amazing sense of humour, a supreme taste in kicks and what limited car knowledge I have. Its all about sharing right? So if I ask you for an exchange don't take it the wrong way, you probably just have a skill that I want to steal.

Love and Loads

Miss K

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