Facebooking, the new drunk dialing?

I have woken up with a hang over and a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as the events from yesterday evening slowly trickle back into my brain. I committed a sin and as much as I am ashamed to admit it, I did it. I do how ever think that todays modern technology makes it easier for us to carry out such atrocities.  I did the drunk dial, but in the form of a facebook message. Has facebook messaging become the drunk dial of the 21st Century?

My name is Kerry, as my dad tells me, I am a hard lady, I have been known to cut things early (in some peoples opinion anyway) for the sake of self preservation and when someone pisses me off more than twice they are gone from my life. Generally. But as with everything there is always an exception to every rule. My exception comes in the form of a tall dark and handome that I met in October 2010. I sit here now 18 months later wondering why he still gets under my skin. Is it the story of the one that got away or really a story of one that was never there to begin with?

I laid eyes on him one day at a friends birthday, he was tall and had an air about him that I was attracted to, he intrigued me so I spent the better part of my day trying to get his attention. Due to a mix up in plans and taxi arrangements, I found myself with him and his friends and my friends no where to be found.We ended up at a club called Devilles, it is marketed as an over 25s high end club, very cool vibe and full of 60s go go dancing girls. Tall dark and handsome is a smoker so we sat outside to facilitate his habit. We spent the night chatting and getting to know each other and then things took a turn for the strange... 

Something like this but with a smaller sword

I had excused myself from the table to go and use the facilities and on returning, poor TDH had been over run by a gaggle of ladies who had seen our table as a delicious place to rest their tired feet, all the seats were taken so I took up a position on TDHs lap. After some conversation back and forth between the ladies at the table and myself the lady sitting next to us turned to us and said "So when are you two getting married?" I laughed and proceeded to tell the lady that we had only just met that day, she then apologised and said she must have gotten confused. 

A few more hours rolled on and after a strange encounter with one of the ladies friends in the toilet who told me that her friend was infact psychic, I returned to the table to find the lady looking intently at my companion, as I sat down she turn to us and said "What ever happens today, you two NEED to go home together!" I found this to be comical and turned to TDH and asked if he had, had a hand in this and he assured me that he hadnt. Things got a whole lot stranger when our new friend reached into her bag and pulled out some Panadol and a box of mints. She slid the Panadol over the table to me and told me they were for my headache (which I had not told anyone about but was secretly killing me and making me feel sick) and she slid the mints across to TDH and said "She doesnt like smokers" (another fact I had not shared with anyone) and she made the point again that we needed to go home together. 

Thumbs up, nah she is your mate

I turned to TDH and said he had to kiss me, and that would determine if he got to come home with me or not, because you can tell a lot about a person by the way that they kiss (wow lots of pressure I know...) and he is lucky that the first time is always a freeby because that first kiss was terrible!!! I cant remember if it was me or if it was our new friend that told him he had done a bad job and he needed to try again, but the second kiss was much better and from this it was decided that we would leave together. What followed was a magical night, where time seemingly stopped still and I didnt want to go to sleep because I was scared that it would break what ever spell we were under (and we didnt actually have intimate relations... true story). We talked all night about everything and there was atleast for me, an air of possibility about the whole thing. There have been two times in my life that I have felt this way, ones with the army brat and then this night. I was filled with a warm glow and I had hope. He said he would call me and I honestly believed that he would. I guess going to sleep did make the magic disappear.

This is what it felt to me....

What has followed has been 18 months of floating in and out of each others lives, generally with the aid of alcohol and possibly loneliness and for me, definitely the point of what if (just for the record, what if is an arsehole of a question. It does my head in on the daily) We talk about catching up, we make plans and for what ever reason the plans dont end up coming off. I am not normally that girl (not the shoe girl, the other girl) who will sit by the phone and wait, I am not the girl that has to be told that he is just not that into you, but for some reason I always found myself migrating back to him. In December of last year I decided that enough was enough and told him that I couldnt do it anymore, we wished each other good luck and went on our separate ways. 

So knowing this, why the fuck did I send him a facebook message last night whilst slightly intoxicated sitting in Devilles saying something along the lines of, when I am here I cant help but think of you and possibly a "just quietly fuck you" (and by possibly I mean, yeah I did that). I am normally awesome at staying away from the drunk dialing, and generally only leave it for a quick "hey what you doing later ;)" message for that guy with whom I have an agreement that we only like each other when we are drunk, and that works. I made a Rookie mistake and I am hanging my head in shame because of it. I would like to blame the trap of todays technology that makes it so easy to embarrass yourself but really I know the truth, a good craftsman never blames his tools and in short, I am actually probably the tool.  

Say no to drunk dialing and no to anal?

So on the off chance that the tall dark and handsome reads this, please take this as my some what strangely handled apology. I am a fuck head and if you didnt post witty inappropriate comments that make me laugh and feel more politically correct I would probably delete you so that this couldnt happen again (but if you want to delete me... then thats totally your perogative). So here it is, I am a fuck head and I am sorry. You didnt need me to bring up what you already knew. Life would be so much simpler without technology

So my loyal followers, please learn from me, drunk dialing or facebooking isnt really such a good idea. But I am 100% sure that you are all actually smarter than me and knew that anyway. Find a FB Sponsor (much the same as if you were in AA) and if the idea even pops into your head talk to the sponsor about it, but chances are if you are talking to them anyway you know its a bad idea, so put the phone away, get another drink and find another guy to stalk. It is far easier than the shame spiral that you will feel from the message you will send 

Get a sponsor...

Love and Fuck Headedry 

Miss K 

P.S This is my 20 seconds of courage that has turned into two hours of writing. I have no idea what I expected from sending the message and I guess I realised that some what ifs, are always meant to stay as what ifs. 

P.P.S I think this story def proves that some psychics are full of shit 


P.P.P.S Here is the actual truth of the story, which I was embarrassed to tell, but it is actually pretty funny. I made a concious effort that night to not do the drunk text, I had written the message in an SMS and thought to myself "NO I shouldnt be doing that" so I copied and pasted the SMS into Facebook and sent it as a FB message. I like my failed logic and it even saved me $0.25c