The sense of home

I was thinking today about the things that Perth does better than Melbourne, there are just a few  quintessential things which are characteristically Perthian for me, things like Spearmint Milk, Tall Men and great beaches. On throwing these musings up on Facebook I was met with shouts of "You Should come home" (whether they were serious or not is neither hear nor there) so I would like to share something with you, here is where my heart lays and don't they say that home is where the heart is? This is what Melbourne means to me 

I do miss this...

The new and the unknown - I lived in Perth for 20 years and its pretty safe to say that I got around, I saw the sights, I ate the delights and pretty much just made myself comfortable. I was worried that I was becoming stagnant in Perth, I drifted between jobs and events and never really felt like I was getting anywhere. In Melbourne everything is new and exciting, there is something around every corner that I have never seen before and that can take my breath away. I think that there is a possibility that these things were in Perth as well but maybe I couldn't see the Forrest for the trees (or the trees for the Forrest which is probably the case)? I feel alive when my breath is taken away. I appreciate things a whole heap more. 

Unknown treasures down Alleyways

Strengthened Relationships - I know this one might be hard to understand but they say absence makes the heart grow stronger and I 100% agree. I am now closer to my sister and a lot of friends since moving. It probably has a lot to do with taking people for granted, I guess we think that they are always going to be there because they always are. Now I am not around all the time its really important for me to make the moments counts when I have them. When I am back in Perth my time is precious and I very rarely get a chance to relax but none of that really matters because the moment spent with people I love bolster up my soul in the moments when I am away from them. Sure I miss them but it also gives me something to look forward to and a light at the end of my journey. 

Sneaking home to surprise my family at Christmas Time

I like the Isolation - I love the fact that I can come home in the afternoon, turn my phone off (and my computer) and I'm done for the night. I can count the amount of people that know where I live easily on my fingers so it makes it easy to disappear. I am fundamentally a hermit, I like my own company and retreating into myself to sort myself out. Tonight is the first night at home I have had in weeks and it feels great just to do nothing and be no where. In Perth it was more likely that I would have things on, places to go, people to see and a feeling of obligation. I don't really have that here and its nice. 

Just Me...

The people intrigue me - This one is really no surprise, I love people (despite my above comment on being a hermit, its a delicately balanced seesaw) and there are so many new people here. I am forced out onto the streets to talk to new people and go to new places because my support network just isn't as big here. I like the anonymity, no one has preconceived notions about me, there isn't any gossip and I can just get on with being me and trying to make good first impressions. When I first got here it excited me to have a chance to reinvent myself because I was worried that I was the person that people expected of me and not the person I actually wanted to be, well it turns out they are in fact one and the same. Perth Kerry is Melbourne Kerry, she just maybe wears a lot of scarves and leggings as pants now. 

The first time in Melbourne I felt like me.

Something to Look Forward to - Living here has given me more to look forward to, whether it be the trips back to Perth, the plane rides (I actually really like going on planes) or people coming to visit me. Its little events to get excited for. I love people coming to visit me because I can show them what makes the city great for me, it might be the dorky architectural knowledge that I gained from some guided tour that I took or that special spot on Flinders Street that is warm and smells like a laundry. I live for these moments, it helps me to share my world with people and hopefully in their heads it helps them to feel better about me being here. 

I always look forward to this...

Healing - This one is one that might be a bit hard to understand but being in Melbourne has helped me to heal. I had some not so nice things happen a few years ago that left me damaged and scared of everything. While I made steps to get better in Perth all of the panic attacks that I felt attached themselves to memories of the places I always went. Being here in new places has given me a chance to make new memories. I haven't had bad experiences and its normally sensory overload so I don't have to time to get panicked and feel out of my depth. It still does catch me sometimes but the events are certainly becoming fewer and further between. It also makes disappearing easier when no one in the crowd is waiting for you. 

This helps.

Sure, its not all sunshine and roses and sometimes its really hard to be so far away from everyone but what doesn't kill you only makes you strong and I know I am only ever a 4 hour flight away. Who knows how I am going to feel in the coming years (or even months) and I may well pack up and head back West but for now my roots are firmly planted and I am growing towards the sun every day. Life is pretty magical when you truly feel like you belong and you are right where you are meant to be at this moment. 

Love and Branching Out 

Miss K 

P.S I would like to send a giant shout out to all my Perth friends who take the time to catch up with me when I am back, you always welcome me with open arms. I used to be scared about coming back because time had passed and I have missed out on things but when you have such a strong link of friendship none of that really matters and you can just pick up where you left off. I may be away but you are never really far from my thoughts. I love you all. 

P.P.S And another Giant shout out to my friends here, you guys probably don't realise how much you mean to me and my survival. You have taken me in, no questions asked, you accept me, you laugh at my jokes and you make me feel like I have a family here. I honestly think you got the raw end of the deal getting me but I am smart enough to not point it out. I love you all.