Tuesday, 29 October 2013

People to turn for...

I presume myself to be strictly dickly but even I can admit that there are some fine looking women wandering the earth that I would consider taking on an all seafood diet for. In high school I remember making a list of girls that I would turn gay for, in the beginning the list contained one or two but as I have gotten older the list has some what grown (as you would think is only natural). Welcome to my theoretical world of women on women sex.

Sarah McLeod - it started with Sarah, I remember being about 16 or 17 and watching rage and thinking "Hey this chic is pretty hot". She was the Aussie rock chic that had attitude and stamina and an "I don't give a fuck about you" look about her, she didn't look like a princess and looked a bit rough and ready. She has all the makings for a dream change... she may have been my gateway crush. She looks a bit manly so it seems like a nice little stepping stone from cock to clam. I wonder where she is these days?

Shirley Manson - Back in the Days of Hey Hey its Saturday (when it was actually on a Saturday night and didn't suck) and VHS tapes a fire haired women in black clothing and black high heels walked onto my screen and into my dreams. Here is a little known fact about Shirley Manson, she used to be a high end model but refused a big contract to continue singing with Garbage and I thank my lucky stars every day that she did. I recorded this performance and watched it countless times, rewinding it and starting it over and over again until the tape nearly wore out (this was in the day before YouTube and DVDs with Instant play back)

(thank you YouTube for taking me back to my high school fantasies. This is the actual clip)

Gianna Michaels - I have mentioned her before once or twice (and probably will again) but she is probably my largest clam crush. I was introduced to Miss Gianna by a 19 year old that I took advantage of (or he took advantage of me, I am not sure how that actually went). He suggested a likeness, I googled and then I fell in love. She has sass, she has attitude and she has that special something that makes people stand up and pay attention (I think that it may have something to do with her 38F Boobs. HOLY JESUS!!!!). She also looks very similar to my favourite stripper who also makes it to a high spot on my would go there list (but this is a grey area because I actually have spoken with her and touched her and had her garden sitting on my nose, so shit just got all that little bit too real) 

Zooey Deschanel - There is something endearing about her awkwardness and her giant eyes. I fell in love with her through the exposure of an Ex boyfriend who had a giant crush on her, we would watch episodes of New Girl and he would be spell bound by her and it kinda rubbed off on me (only slight innuendo meant there). She is so cute and innocent that I probably wouldn't know what to do with her and if I did try to do anything with her I would probably break her and then her liege of adoring fans would be out for my blood, I don't want that on my hands. She might just be the girl crush that I hold hands with and take on tandem bike rides for picnics in the park, I am sure that she would love picnics in the park, actually who doesn't like picnics in the park.

Dita Von Teese - There is no more beautiful turned out women in the whole world. She is the epitome of style and class and rocks the tiny waist and giant red lips. I just want to fan her with palm fronds, peel her grapes and feed them into her beautiful little mouth. I remember first seeing her when she was dating the thing called Marilyn Manson, I was repulsed by him and enamoured by her, She sometimes visits my dreams, and we do interesting things and everyone is happy. The End. I wish I looked like her, that would be cool. 

Now looking back at it, this appears to be a very small list, but what it lacks in size it makes up for in class and damn fine hiney.  Its all good to have these girls in my dreams but if they were actually in front of me I probably wouldn't know what to do with them. Even in my fantasies its all about being an above the belt lesbian, but hey I am fine with that. 

Enjoy your guilty pleasures on swapping teams, no one needs to know. 

Love and Lesbianism 

Miss K 

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