So casual sex hey? Like it or hate it, it exists and it can be the cause of many laughs and many awkward moments. To me a one night stand is simply that, you build a "relationship" with a person, have some time with them and then be on your way into the horizon to never see them again. During a conversation that I had this week, it would appear that one of my friends doesn't actually know this is the lay of the land
I guess we could call him a nice guy, he believes in the good of people when sometimes maybe there is actually no good to give. He was away travelling and met a lovely girl in a hotel bar and they began to share their life stories, they talked for a few hours and one thing led to another and they ended up back at her hotel room, there was a bit of hand holding and polite conversation and after this was done she asked him to leave so that her friend could come back. For most normal people the story would have ended there... right? Right, but not if you are my mate. He knew that the girl was checking out of her hotel the next day so he got on his scooter and headed back at check out time to say goodbye. He showed up in the lobby and hung around to say goodbye until they left. It wasn't until a few days later when she emailed him to ask why he came back that he may have got an inkling that his actions were some what amiss. I asked him why he had gone back and he said simply "I was just being polite"
When did politeness have a place in casual sex? What he did wasn't polite, it was just creepy. If they ask you to leave, it means that they want you to leave, they probably don't want you to come back the next the day to have a polite conversation and talk about the weather. I was always of the opinion that I wore the pants in the house hold. He was always about the cuddling and the loving whilst I was about the loving and leaving (and by loving I don't mean Loving, I mean do your hand holding then get the fuck out of my house so I can sleep)
I guess there is always the question surrounding one night stands that hangs over your head, do you bother with the phone number? I guess its some what polite to exchange pleasantries and say "I'll call you" but in reality is this not just a waste of time and some what of a false hope? In my experience they are generally terrible drunken intimacies that you would not want to replicate so why bother? Sometimes having the non chalant attitude towards adult relations can have its draw backs though, sometime things can happen where a phone number will come in handy or make thinks less awkward.
A few years ago on a trip to Tokyo I managed to come across an American Marine in a Dodgy little bar and being the filthy stop out that I was back then (because I am of the opinion that if it happens on holidays it doesn't actually really count) he some how managed to end up in my hotel room with me and we got adult. In the morning I did the right thing and walked him to the train station so he could find his way back to where ever it was that he had to go. On arriving at the station he asked for my number, I was flattered I really was, but I declined as I was "leaving Tokyo that afternoon" (which may not have actually been the case because in reality I was leaving in another three days) but I was fairly certain that I would not see him again as I knew he only got one night off a week. It was to be the perfect crime...
Well you can imagine my surprise when two days later I was at the same drinking establishment when who happened to walk in but Mr Marine with a lovely looking lady *coughmancough* on his arm. See most people would have been embarrassed that they had lied to someone and been caught out but really I wasn't. I once again was in the position of power here, I was there looking amazingly gorgeous and he was there with a Tranny. Being the kind friendly person that I am, I walked over to him, said Hello and asked how his night was going? He looked embarrassed and then disappeared. Wonder why that was?
There was an experience recently that would have been better handled if we actually had exchanged numbers. Same old story, beer + Kerry = Adventure and I ended up spending the night at a gentleman's house (but we weren't intimate as his junk was unable to function). In the morning when all was said and done and the taxi was on its way I didn't bother with the false pretence of offering up my number. I casually picked up my stuff, headed to the door and fist bumped him on the way out. This in itself was cool, I knew that we wouldn't be seeing each other again, I had no desire to do the dance of lies and he wasn't really worth my effort (don't get me wrong, my standards had not dropped at all and he was gorgeous). The fist bump was kinda a condolence of "hey, your junk malfunctioned. Apparently that happens. Unlucky".
See that should have been the end of it, What made me change my mind on the no number guise was a few days later when I was sitting at work and realised that my very expensive, very sentimental diamond earring was missing. I tried not to panic and all through the day kept reassuring myself that my earring would be found in my bed. I got home and the search began... and sadly the earring did not show up. In reality there was only one place that it could be, but I had no way of finding out. Yeah I even tried the facebook stalking, but with no results. I guess I could go back to his house, casually knock on the door and be all like "hey so umm have you seen my earring" but really, we all know that one night stands mean one night and you have to expect some casualties of war eventually... we all know this right?
Sometimes I get worried about how easy this whole casual sex thing has become, I wonder how much of my soul has been destroyed from all of the terrible experiences with boys. I have a feeling that it is like a defence mechanism, the more I turn myself off the easier it is to save myself from being hurt. The longer they hang around the more likely I am to have to actually talk to them and really we all know that talking gets us no where. I guess there is always an exception to every rule and sometimes something catches us off guard and really I am not an exception to this rule. Mine came in the form of a tall green eyed bearded man, I went into it with the intention that it would be just some adult time between two adults and before I knew it I was in over my head. Lets just say it didn't end well for me... lesson learnt. Maybe I will make them take me out for dinner first next time... or ban myself from drinking
So the number, do you or don't you? I might go with maybe because it sure as hell beats a missing earringed tranny in a hotel lobby
Love and Layings
Miss K
P.S I know that people probably think I am a terrible person (for probably more reasons than is listed in this post) but to my defence I didn't give the Marine my number because 1. He had a very annoying American accent that kinda made me want to punch him in the face (I didn't realise this until the beer haze wore off and the spell that his muscles had me under was gone) and 2. he had a dodgy Jap Eye.... instead of being where it should be it was on the bottom like a recorder.... that shit whack YO!!!!!
P.P.S Having a dodgy Jap Eye is actually a pretty common problem and its called Hyperspadia, it is normally fixed at a young age so its not a cosmetic issue later in life. I understand its a common problem, but it was in fact the first time (and only time) that I have encounted it. I probably wrote home about it and laughed about it a little bit
P.P.P.S I totally wouldn't have sex with me, because I would probably make fun of myself and tell all my friends about me being a dud or the like. I guess this is a warning to guys. I can do a one night stand like no ones business but it doesn't mean I will keep my mouth shut about your junk. If its funny, be prepared to be fodder to my writing.... thems just the breaks
P.P.P.P.S Its just a number, judge me if you will. But he without sin shall cast the first stone?
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