Pregnancy Tests - The Youth Stealer and other Musings

There is a moment in every young girls life when they realise that possibly they are not as young as what they used to be and its a large earth crashing moment when this happens. I guess its all part of the journey into adult hood... it had to happen sooner or later

Let me set the scene for you, I had been feeling a bit sick for a while, tried the pass out game on the tram a few times and had just not been feeling the best. On mentioning this to the best friend, she suggested that I might possibly be up the duff, and whilst I knew that for many GIANT reasons this couldn't be the case I needed to make sure, just to tick that one thing off my list. I headed to my local chemist and purchased your standard issue pregnancy test and this is where shit got weird. On passing the change and my bag to me the lady behind the counter hit me with her mega watt smile and said "Good Luck". I stumbled out of the shop with my guilty little package under my arm and I had the words "Good Luck" trampsing through my head.

I wondered why she would be offering me Good Luck, was it good luck to not be pregnant or was she wishing me a belly full of arms and legs? Maybe because I didn't buy a guilt item (the item you buy to take emphasis away from the fact that you are buying something that's a bit iffy ie/ Jelly Beans when you are buying condoms etc) she thought that I was all aboard the baby train. I remember visiting the chemist to buy a pregnancy test when I was younger (maybe about 21) and the lady gave me a look of pity as she handed me my package. Where did the pity look go?  It dawned on me pretty quick that she would have been wishing me luck for the arms and legs as it is pretty common practice for the females of my species to be reproducing at my age, so she had been making the generalisation that I too wanted to go down this path.

So kids hey? well I guess its time to admit that in the last 6 months I did actually entertain the idea of maybe one day having a baby. I was seeing a guy and I thought of what our baby would look like and the thought didn't totally repulse me... does this mean that I am growing up and may one day eventually have one of my own? I have decided that if this is the case though I don't really want one to grow inside me because that kinda freaks me out and I don't want the Alien to come smashing out of my stomach like it does in the those movies, so I instead would like someone to develop technology that would see babies grown outside of the body (ala Matrix style). Some suggested receptacles to anyone reading this would be a Watermelon (they have a food source, its kinda shaped like a uterus and it will come out smelling watermelony good) or your standard issue fish tank, whilst its not as glamorous and nice smelling as a Watermelon it will allow you to see what it looks like before it comes out, no more having to wait for ultra sounds.

I have also decided that if I do have a baby I would like to it to be half Ginger and half Asian, I know you are probably thinking this is a strange mix but two couples I know have both had one of these babies and they are probably the cutest kids I have ever seen. It makes sense to want a cute one, I don't want anyone to be saying its cute to my face and then secretly behind my back laughing about how ugly it is (there is no judging if you do that because even I have looked at some babies and gone "gosh darn that things ugly") and also Asians are known to be smart and good at Violin and I totally want my kid to play Violin. It all makes sense

So now I guess its time to accept the fact that my youth is behind me, its ok to use granny trolleys and wear control top panties and its actually not so bad being older. Gone at the Pity looks and they have been replaced with cheap insurance and that's a win in my book 

Love and Uterus's 

Miss K