Things that I don't understand..

God life can be confusing sometimes. I consider myself to be an educated Lass but sometimes I cant wrap my head around things... these things mainly

Belly Buttons - I understand why they are there but really once the Stork has dropped us off (because that's how babies are born) what use do they have. They are weird and deep caverns that fill up with fluff.... and don't even get me started on outies. 

People who do not know the difference between "his" and "he is" - I am known to be a lyrical Nazi (hail Fuhrer) and I am willing to look past most errors. But this one. Like... no. Please. Don't. Enough Westie.

Mens Nipples - do you touch them? why are they there? can they lactate? I am so confused.

Australians that don't like Vegemite - its like our Patriotic right of passage 

People that don't find farts funny - or bodily noises in general. Before I did a burp that sounded like a Raptor roar and it was awesome. Also this one time I farted and it sounded like the roaring in the Lion King when Simba takes back Pride Rock. OK that one wasn't funny, that was just monumentally phenomenal. 

Not picking up money off the ground - you really never know when you are going to need that $0.05 and I don't really care if you call me a scab. I am OK with this. My bank balance negates the need for pride.

Morning People - Gross. I used to date one. It was the worst. We talked about it yesterday, his room mate at work said he probably needs to get checked out. I agree with this sentiment

Smokers under the age of 35 - we grew up in a generation where the dangers of smoking are highly publicised yet people still light up? You what mate?

People that don't read - Books are awesome man. You can go to a world that you cant imagine and experience a life that you never knew you wanted. Plus it gives you a perfect excuse to ignore people when on public transport.

How someone as amazing as me is still single - actually now that I mention it... never mind

How at the age of 32 I still leave the house with my underwear inside out at least once a week  - but that's OK because apparently its lucky. So really I am not retarded, I am just creating my own luck.

Parmas - this has ended relationships but I just cant wrap my head around it? Deep fried chicken covered in cheese and tomato sauce. Yuck. Just Yuck. I would actually prefer dick pics (Please see below)

Doodle Shots - so you like send them because you are keen to get me hot?? Uhhh maybe its just me but when I am watching porn, I don't actually pay attention to the penis. There are other things to look at. I could be doing it wrong I admit buuuutttt probably not. 

People who don't find me funny - have you met me? Like really. 

See, like I said. Confusing....

Love and Head Scratchings

Miss K