Friday, 7 February 2014

And then we were making out....

I read and article the other day that said on average a women would kiss 15 guys people they find "The One" and it got me thinking, over the last decade or so the strangest things have happened to me and maybe I am now questioning if I some how missed my one. You see I have been going about my daily (or nightly) business and within a heart beat I am lip locked and sharing saliva with a perfect stranger. How does this happen? Most of the time I actually have no idea and in my head I always see these random make out sessions like that scene in 10 Things I Hate About You when the drunk girl says to Heath Ledger "KISSS ME!!" and he pushes her into the arms of another guy and says "Kiss him instead". Maybe my world is just full of people pushing guys into me saying Kiss Her. Here are some of my favourites... 

G: How old are you?
K: I'm 30
G: Shit, I wouldn't have thought you were that old. How do you keep looking so young?
K: I kiss younger guys to steal their youth
G: Cool
And then we were making out... On a tram travelling down Flinders Street

G: Hey
And then we were making out... in a dodgy bar called the Craic
K: What just happened here?
G: My Mate said you were a good kisser, I just wanted to see for myself

K: I'm going to touch your beard and then I am going to eat your kebab. And you aren't going to Stop Me
G: *Stunned Silence*
And then we were making out... out the front of a Kebab shop on King Street

K: Shit, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to run into you *registering where my hands are* You've got pretty solid abs
G: *lifting shirt* You can touch them if you want
And then we were making out...  Standing at the coat check desk in a Club named Sorry Grandma

K: Why do you look so sad, where are your friends?
G: Its my 18th Birthday and Ive lost them all.
And then we were making out... sitting on some steps out the front of the Paramount on James Street

K: I'm not going to Kiss You
G: *Smirk*
And then we were making out... in the back of a Taxi

G: So you're Kerry 
K: *silence*
And then we were making out... in front of a toilet block at a Japanese race track 

K: *touching hair*
G: *turns around*
And then we were making out... standing at a bar in Roppongi called Gas Panic waiting to order drinks 

K: I dont like Nicky Minaj 
G: This isn't Nicky Minaj
K: Yeah I know, I was just making conversation *walks off*
G: *finding K 10 minutes later* This is Nicky Minaj, you hate Nicky Minaj 
And then we were making out... on the dance floor of Young and Jackson listening to Nicky Minaj

Actually now when I write it down and see it in front of me I guess I can see a pattern, maybe I just need to stop talking to strangers, or maybe I need to stop being so god darn kissable, or maybe just maybe I can continue just the way I am so that I have interesting stories to share around the camp fire. As you can see, the amount of my random moments of making out nearly eclipse the suggest average of 15, so I have realised that averages are probably a load of whollop. Whoreish as it may be, kissing never hurt anyone. 

Love and Lip Locks

Miss K

P.S If you were to ask me how I would go about kissing a boy I actually liked I would tell you that it hardly ever happens and its more awkward than having someone walking in on you whilst you are using the toilet... If I know your name, it probably makes it difficult for me because I am going to have to see you again. 

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