When I was younger and coming into my sexual maturity the idea of any man entering me, being it back door, front door or food hatch was startling and really quiet scary. As time went on and I became more experienced the boundaries were pushed, the inhibitions were dropped and the experiences were more to write home about. I guess it was only a matter of time before the envelope was pushed back (only slight pun intended). This is taboo, its the things of Greek men, priests and offers of reward in exchange of diamonds. Welcome to my world of anal sex.
Experience 1 - Testing the Waters
Let me set the scene for you, a Tokyo love hotel with a guy from Chile that I'd just met on a crowded Midnight train a few hours earlier. I think his name was Paulo or Pedro or something of equal racial stereotype. We were getting acquainted with each other in a room that cost 14,000 Yen (which he paid for) when he decided that I'd like a bit of rim action. Needless to say I was taken a back and there would have been some involuntary clench so I quickly pulled up anchor and steered the motion of the ocean in a different direction. This was how I was first exposed to the tastes of the other side of life.
Experience 2 - Did that just happen?
Saturday afternoon, beautiful summer sun, beer garden and cold cider. Beers with a friend from interstate. One cider turned into five and before I knew it, it was 6 o'clock and I was vomiting on myself in the cobbled alleyway. The next amount of time (maybe lets say a few hours but who can be sure) I had a shower, sat on a balcony waiting for pizza, passed out for a bit and engaged in some wild adult entertainment (which I am still to this day unsure how it started). This guy knew what he wanted and wasn't afraid to ask for it. He was persuasive, I was drunk and I thought his penis was small enough to be a good starting point (and probably I mainly wanted to please him)
After our juices and energy were spent we both did the required roll over to sleep. I woke up to the vibration of my phone and opened my bleery eyes to a text from my best friend. Pain radiated from my head and my arse and places I didn't even know I had, it was all bad. I sent her a quick reply of "I think I just had bum sex =/ am I ever going to be able to poo again? He is sleeping, is it OK to sneak out?". So that's what my life had come to, anal sex and sneaking out on men.
Despite her advice to stay and her reassurance that I would be able to poo again I decided to make a break for it and go home to lick my wounds (not literally, I'm not a cat). I grabbed my clothes, dressed quickly and pulled the door shut behind me. As I walked to get a taxi I got a lot of strange looks, honestly how could they know? did I have a big sign on my head that said "I JUST DID ANAL!!!" or was I walking like I had just gotten off a horse. I grabbed the first taxi I found and the first question the taxi driver and his shocked look gave me was "Are you OK?". I assured him I was fine and gave him my home coordinates. I opened my front door and the sight that greeted me made me understand the looks of concern. My dress was ripped, my hair was a big mess, my mascara was writing lines down my face and my lipstick was taking a trip to my ear. I looked like I'd been attacked and thrown in a bush. I learnt a valuable lesson that evening, when sneaking out of a hotel, always check a mirror before you exit into the night, oh and also, it might hurt to sit down for a week but you can most certainly poo again.
Experience 3 - The Diversion Technique
I met a guy at a bar, we got on well, we decided to get on "better". We got on better and after a few times things took a turn for the south, the deep south. On a trip to down town pants land, the said boy kept taking my hand and putting it in the area of the anus. The more I pulled my hand away the more he put it back there so clearly one of us was not getting the message. I thought that a change in direction was needed but knew that things were going to continue along his path of liking. I didn't overly protest and infact left it happen. Not because I overly wanted too but because I wanted the encounter to be over and I wanted to please him.
This encounter gave way to the question of why it was OK for them to touch me there, but why I was not OK to touch them there? I have a friend who openly admits to using the services of prostitutes and he will go so far as to pay them extra so they will slip a finger whilst giving him a blow job. Would I do the finger slip for an extra quid? Maybe guys are OK with it because they have watched a lot of porn and the "glory" hole has been glorified and the idea of getting a bit dirty doesn't phase them and really whats the difference between a finger and a penis anyway?
Experience 4 - The 30 Life Crisis
On the night of my 30th Birthday I managed to ensnare a 23 year old bearded boy from Perth into my web of overt sexuality. We talked, we danced, we ended up back at his hotel (because whats a birthday without Birthday sex?) and we got busy. I think being 30 I felt like I had something to prove to him and also maybe to myself. I asked him what he wanted, told him I would give him that and we would see what would happen when the dust settled. This kid was packing a bit of a punch in the pants department so when he very innocently said "I've never tried anal" I was thinking that I would need to negate on my offer of giving him what he wanted, but like a trooper I pushed through. Don't they say that third time is a charm? (experience four, is really experience three if you get me). So first time for him and third time for me and it was carnage, I'm not even going to lie. There was mess and muck and a very traumatised 23 year old at the end of it. For once in my life I stayed to cuddle and was sure to check the mirror when I slipped out in the morning.
So what have we learnt from this? Anal sex is funny, it normally involves alcohol and a desire to please ones part time partner. Ive given it a red hot shot and have come to the conclusion that it may only be something that is pulled out for Bank Holidays, Birthdays and Diamonds. I was always told, don't knock it to you've tried it. Ive given it a try and let me tell you, no one wins when you're on the return stroke and have pulled out to far and then a surprise attack is launched on the doomhole. This is max pain for all parties involved and nothing can fix that but a bit of spit and a Disney band aid.
Oh and one more thing, don't forget the lube
Love and Shit
Miss K
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