On the eve of my one year anniversary of moving to Melbourne I am sitting in my own apartment in my pyjamas thinking about the last year with a smile on my face because, I made it. I was always worried when I first made the move that I would be part of the "Three Month Melbournian" statistic, someone who made the move, couldn't make it and had to head home with nothing but my tail between my legs and an experience under my belt. And to tell you the truth I nearly was, not because I wanted to but because of circumstances that I couldn't control (like a shitty economy) but I made it through and probably feeling the best and most settled that I ever have.
In the time it could have taken to brew a baby and then some (but thankfully I didn't do that) I've learnt a few things, made a few observations and experiences some things.... so here goes.
I love beards - Melbourne is full of beards, I had a small appreciation for them before the move but now I am surrounded on the daily my appreciated nay LOVE AFFAIR for the bearded creature has grown.
In your Face - there is really nothing more satisfying than proving the haters wrong. I came up against lots of opposition and negativity when I moved and a lot of people said I was going to fail. So to them, stick this one year in your pipe and smoke it
Polony, Middy, Cool Drink - If you are to say any of these things people look at you like you have a second head (that's Tasmania not WA kids). They tried to give me many fake imitations of polony and teach me the way of the Victoria Glass (schooner, pot WTF? I am now forced to always drink pints because that's a universal size) but I cant give up who I am
Only the Strong Survive - lets repeat that ONLY THE STRONG SURVIVE and moving here has made me realise that I am much stronger than what I though. No weights included
Weather with you - This is something that I may not ever get used to, the cold her is proper cold. It makes me giggle when ever I see Perthites complaining about the cold on Facebook, ahh I remember those days when I used to think that Perth was cold.
The Scene is the same - I have managed to break myself into the drift scene here and if I close my eyes sometimes I can think its home. The conversations are the same, the characters are the same and the Melbourne Drift Kerry is a little Asian Girl.
No Car, No Sweat - If you had have asked me a year ago if I would be able to live my life without a car I would have laughed in your face. Not only have I survived without a car but I didn't struggle to do it. Having a good infrastructure helps I guess. I will admit to fantasising about the car that I would have if I did decide to get one. At the moment a Square Volvo wagon dumped on steelies with a roof rack and Venetians would be hitting that spot.
Krispy Kremes - this shit just doesn't get old. I could still eat one every day and not get bored of them. If only they didn't make my arse the size of the fair state of WA.
Strip Clubs are Different - I know this may be a weird point to add BUT it has been something that has changed my life. The girls touch themselves (yep down there) here, strip clubs stay open until well past the first tram and you don't tip with tipping dollars, them bitches want your real money (and sometimes bitches aren't worth the $5)
Wages are Lower - and that's really OK because cost of living is lower, you don't have to line up with 30 other people to rent an overpriced shit hole, groceries are cheaper and Victoria has Aldi. Not having a modified car has saved my umpteenth amounts of money as well.
Melbourne Crazies beat Perth Crazies - I have nearly been run over by a guy on a gopher who called me a filthy dog, had some guy tell me to bet $50 on Sydney Swans and another guy tell me I was trying to control him by offering him some food. They do however catch the midday public transports like in Perth. On a side note we also have more homeless and less indigenous so I guess it all works out in the wash. We don't have a Mad Dog though. I miss Mad Dog
and the biggest realisation that I may have come to is.... DRUM ROLL
Hipsters aren't so bad - Yeah I never thought that I would utter those words either. But heck if you cant beat them, go to the op shop, grab yourself a hideous cable knit sweater and ride your fixie to the closest pub to order your shandy.
So that's a year and to celebrate I am going to an adult club where the ladies can touch themselves wearing my giant hipster glasses and a scarf with my friends that make it home. I shall shout from the roof tops "Melbourne, I'm Loud, Proud and I'm here to stay" (or something as equally cliche)
Love and Victorianisms
Miss K
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