Saturday, 2 February 2013

... That's a No. That's most definitely a NO!

I have touched on internet dating before but I feel that I need to go over it again. After a recent set back in the department of the heart (probably very much my own fault for reading something into a situation that wasn't there) I decided that I would give Internet Dating another crack. I haven't been having much luck meeting people in the 'Burn and I am not ashamed to admit that I am lonely and longing for a bit of romance. Online dating is a cheap, easy way to browse the library without hurting any of the books feelings (I actually stole this analogy from my amazing boss who met her partner on RSVP two years ago and they are still going strong).

I have been undertaking this round of Online dating since Sunday the 27th of January and so far I have 4 would be suitors, all of which have requested my acceptance and probably about 70 or 80 who I have rejected. As with many things in life, its about a screening process. How do you wittle down those 80 requests judging only by what you read on a screen? I have some hard and fast rules, you can take them if you like. Welcome to the world of "That's a no!!" 

I think you are really hot - On Oasis when you want to contact someone you need to send a reason as to why you would like to contact them. One of them is "I think you are really hot". Look I am flattered but come now, flattery isn't going to get you anywhere. I just think that all you want me for is my looks and clearly I have a brain behind this awesome rack. This  also goes hand in hand with the "You are my dream match", How can you tell that about me for the 10 works and a handful of photos that I have pro-offered the world (all photos that I have decreed I look good in, It could all be a fake)

Height 5'9 - and under, and that's a no. Look I will be the first to admit that I am a heightist, I am relatively tall for a girl and I am attracted to guys that are taller than me. If someone is my height and under I just find it hard to see myself with them. I want a man and men in my head are meant to be taller than the woman. I want to feel like a tiny little fragile thing that needs looking after (even though I am none of these things, sometimes its a nice fantasy to have)

Pictures of Tattoos - Ok this one may come across as very hypocritical from someone who is as tattooed as I am BUT if someone has photos of their tattoos its a no. If you can see them in normal pictures no worries mate but it would be like me putting a picture of just my back up and leaving it as that. My tattoos are just something that I have got, they are in no way something that defines me. I feel like the people that have them as stand alone pictures may be doing it just so people think they are cool. I ain't into no posers yo. 

I like what you have done with your paint work? - As for pretty much the same reason as above, people that have photos of their toys (be they cars, bikes, jetskis what ever) are a no. Good on you for having a car, I am glad that you have hobbies. Is it a status symbol that you can afford a Beamer or a GSXR? Because dude I ride the tram and I am happy with that (Actually that gives me a brilliant Idea, I am going to take a picture of a tram and upload it with the caption "My Pimpin Wheels")

Welcome to the Gun Show - This is Des and this is Troy and together they are... making me sick. Last time I checked I was not in an episode of Jersey Shore and the Gym Tan Laundry rules do not apply here. Being healthy is a good life goal but I am not overly impressed by your muscles (not that I am saying I don't like to look at them, because I probably do but it makes you look like a meat head and I like brains)

No Photo, no deal - If anyone says that they are not vain AT ALL, I would like to vehemently call  bullshit. Look I know I am not the prettiest Gem in the shop BUT I go alright sometimes. Like attracts like and if you don't have physical attraction then a relationship is really over before it begins. I also like to see who I am talking to, I need to plan what kind of children we will make. 

Bad Spelling Grammar and the Etc - I am sure this one comes as no surprise because I have posted it before but bad spelling, text talk and poor grammar annoys me (I am in no ways saying that I am perfect because I know that I am not and I make mistakes but generally I do ok), in my head it may show a lower level of education and I need someone to challenge me mentally. I have also seen a lot of profiles that abuse women, here is an exert from a real profile "Majority of Women on this sight; you're all here because you fail at luring a partner of substance.... Yet you're still guarded...high expectations...judgmental and high Ego." Cause yeah mate that's really going to make me add you when you have so clearly insulted me and said I have a high Ego. Well I do have a high Ego because I am fucking amazing, but you will never know that. 

Have Children - If there is a yes in here anywhere that is a no. I know this isn't really fair on the people that have kids and are trying to make the most of their lives but its just not for me. I have been in a relationship with a guy that had a daughter before and it was hard. There is more at play than just two people and I realise that and admit that I am maybe not strong enough to deal with that. Plus kids kinda freak me out (still)

Brown Bread, Naan - naan thanks. At the risk of coming across racist I am a white bread kinda girl and I am not really ashamed to admit it. I don't know what this is born of but it is an attraction thing, I haven't so far in my life felt the need to ride the sushi train or got me some jungle fever. Its stereotyping I know but its the way that my mind works

Now reading back over all of these things, I am surprised that anyone has managed to get through my web. I am not holding my breath on the success of longevity of me lasting at online before I crack it and give up but for the time being I am going in, all guns a blazing

Love and Selection Criteria

Miss K 

N.B I know that it is actually impossible to judge a person simple by what you read on a screen, but I believe that you do need to put your best foot forward. Whats the point in saying yes to everyone when there are things that you blatantly know aren't things that you dig? I would hazard a guess to say that they are doing the same thing as me. They probably hate 5'9 girls with blue eyes and dark brown hair and that's cool cause I know I am not every ones cup of tea (as delicious as that tea is)  

If I was to meet the "That's a No" people in real life who knows what could happen, I could connect with them instantly and we could have a real future together. But there is a big difference to online and outside so please don't think I am a bad person for my selection criteria. A girl is just doing what a girls got to do.

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