For those of you that don't know, I have recently moved from the city fringe life to the Northern Suburbs for a bit of a sea change (read, I was sick of being a broke arse negro and wanted to be closer to my friends) and so far its all been going well. Well as well can be expected when you are dealing with the rigours of public transport. I am now on the South Morang line and in the last few weeks its been having a couple of problems (don't worry, I see the links as much as the rest of you) and during the down time that has ensued I have had some time to think about the things that we could do to make the time pass that little bit quicker...
Speed Dating - Because when else will you have hundreds of men in your presence in a line just waiting for you (or technically the bus that will take them on to their destination but who is splitting hairs here). They aren't going to get out of the line, they have nothing else to do and when you are done with one you can move on to the next. I cant see any down sides here.
Story Time - You know how I like telling stories (this blog has been going for four years after all), well just think of the audience that I would have. Sure I would make sure that my stories are PG because there are children present and I don't want a lynch mob on my hands. When I was younger I didn't have a lot of friends so in my lunch times I used to go to the school library and read books to the younger kids... this is the same thing, just on the grown up scale.
Chinese Whispers - Do you remember sitting in a circle at school and playing Chinese whispers... nothing ever ended the way that it started but it was always pretty hilarious when it got to the end. Who knows if people changed it on purpose or some people just have bad hearing but what ever the reason, it was a nice little way to pass the time. Imagine doing it with five hundred people.Everyone standing and eagerly waiting for it to get to the end and the hilarity that will follow.
Write/Draw a line - I used to love doing these. We could hand out bits of paper and break up in to groups (without leaving the line of course) and see where our creativity flows. I write the first line of the story, leave you a few words as a crumb trail and you carry on the story and so on and so forth... Alien Princess Monkeys wearing cowboy boots and eating tacos could possibly be the next best seller but we will never know unless we give it a chance to flourish
Become an Entrepreneur - The opportunities are endless. If you were smart and you owned an ice cream truck, or were a Big Issue Seller you would head to the station where the disruption is to cash in. Everyone wants ice cream and something to read while they are waiting in line. Also for us Gingers, someone coming around with Suncream would be a great help (though if you are true to the ginger life you would have your own in your bag, which like I totally do)
So to all of those on the South Morang Line, I am sorry that your train line started having problems when I showed up. I hope that being mildly annoying and incredibly hilarious made your times waiting for the bus more bearable and as much as you were awesome, I hope that we never have to share this time and experience again (though if we do, as above, I have a plan). All I can say is, thank god for my new phone. The battery life on that thing is amazing so leaving work at 4.30 and getting home at 8 is no matter for me. Got me some sweet tunes and some Jenna Marbles videos... life is good.
Love and Ludicrous Ideas
P.S I know that people like to get home to their families and have things on and these situations can be really stressful and frustrating but don't be a jerk. Everyone is in the same position as you and happy to wait in line to get to where they need to go. Abusing the PTV officers and the people standing in line around you isn't going to make the line go any quicker and it just makes you look like a Butthead. Don't be that guy, because people like me will make up hilarious comments to voice to the people standing close to them and everyone will laugh at you. And I ain't even sorry. Just remember you bought this all on yourself.