So as I am sure most of you are aware, the other day was Christmas Day, and Christmas Day is known to be a day of giving. This year my "gifts" came in different forms but hey who am I to look a gift horse in the mouth? In the 24 hours of the Christmas festivities I have received Five (5), yes that's right, five dick pics. Maybe it was the full moon that made it happen or maybe people were just feeling really generous, who actually knows. But it got me questioning what the desired outcome of sending a dick pic is? Here are some thoughts.
To show that he isn't actually a Robot - see we have this friend and he is tall and good looking and sporty and rich and all manner of things that make him the perfect man, but we have this theory that there is no way that one person can actually be so perfect so we have come to speculate that he is actually a Robot and doesn't have a penis and instead the penis area is where you plug him in for charging. Its really the only likely explanation. I am sure there are many Robot Guys out there like him, so they are just proving they aren't Astro Boy, that's cool dude.
They Want to show me that they have one - Yeah I get it, but really this whole thing is a two for the price of one deal, buy one, get one free if you like. I get you and I get him as an added bonus. You know how your Nan always used to say "why would they buy the cow when they can get the milk for free!??!!" well I feel that notion has some sort of relevance in the equation, is it still a thing in the modern day world?
They require an On Call Doctor - With moles and freckles we are always told to be highly vigilant for any changes that may occur over time, maybe these guys are just using me as a "Mole Check", if they send it out often enough I will get to know it and be diligent enough to advise them if I think there is something wrong with their junk. I will be honest, I have thought it before but it was an awkward conversation to have so I just left it, surely the burning sensation that he should have had would have been alert enough to go and get it checked out.
They don't actually want to get laid - I was talking to a young lad the other day and he mentioned that he has been doing so much better on Tinder since he has stopped sending Dick Pics, and this information shocked none of us that were in his company. When you go to the Royal Show and get a lucky dip, you don't open every packet before you decide do you? Seeing someones genitals really should be a lucky dip option. I like a bit of a surprise. If you send me your dick and it is unsatisfactory, I am probably going to like you less as a person. Yes I am aware that this makes me a bad person, but I am nothing if not honest. If you lead in with a cock shot, it doest give me the opportunity to learn about you as a human and I am sure some part of me actually does care about things like that.
They want an Ego Booster - If I had a doodle, I am being realistic in knowing that I would probably send it to everyone and flop it out at every occasion, that's just the kind of person that I am. I can imagine that it would be some what of an Ego Boost, because most people are polite and wont tell you that your love meat looks like a shrivelled Kiwi Fruit. Send Dick Shot, Instant Gratification in the form of compliments, the world is at peace again. I know that even now I do that, I *think* that I have a pretty mad rack so sometimes when I am feeling a bit down I send them out in to the world to boost my self esteem. it really is the same. No one is going to tell me that my boobs actually look like two balloons filled with pudding, and I really appreciate them for that.
They Actually Like me but are too scared to say - remember when you were young and you used to throw rocks or pull the hair of the girl that you liked? Could Dick Pics be the modern day child hood sign of affection?
They want the Surprise Element - I don't know if its just me but sometimes I look at people and wonder what kind of instrument that they are packing. Through conversations or comments a picture starts to form in your head and then when the goods are actually in your face, they are not at all what you expected. This happened to me yesterday. This tiny guy had a monster cock and it knocked me for a six. Like in physics terms, how can one even carry something of that magnitude? A friend of mine had the theory that the reason these guys are so slender is because all the nutrients they need to feed their bodies are actually going to feed their massive monster dongs.... and I think she might actually be on to something.
They want to change careers and become an Internet sensation - If you have a doodle, you could post your doodle on the Internet and then everyone could see it. But you could be shy, so if you sent your doodle to someone else then they could post it for you. I have seen a couple that are worthy of posting, the world needs to know about how beautiful they are. I should start a web site to be used specifically for the showing of pretty Peni. I would totally look at a web site that was displaying that kind of content.
For the Lols - this is actually a valid reason. Hey Look a Doodle. LOL. See How that works.
Well what ever the reason, YOLO I say, if you want to get your dick out, get your dick out, if you randomly want to send your dick to people, I say more power too you. But just a helpful little hint reminder, remember not everyone is as open and accepting of the doodle as I am so results may vary. And also, don't be that guy, if you want to send yours that's great but it doesn't mean that she has to send anything back, girls are cunning Minxes like that. Just like Jesus
Love and Snatchchats
Miss K
N.B I feel that I possibly did bring this on myself, while scrolling through my "On This Day" feature on Facebook I came across a post that said "tis the seasons to get your knob out" which I originally posted in 2009. I had a giggle and couldn't really remember what it had been in relation to so reposted it for the Lols. You know that thing where they say that the things you put out into the Universe become reality... well they don't lie when they say that. True story kids
No comments:
Post a Comment