The Vagina Monologues... a Lesbian Experience?

When I was small I never remember saying to a boy "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" and still to this day I like to think that all men and women are like Ken and Barbie, just a whole heap of smooth plastic covering their respective mummy daddy parts (Disclaimer: unless I am wanting to procreate with them (without the end result of course) and then I wish them to be Ron Jeremy). So for anyone that has been reading my blog for a while you would know that I have often had adult relations with boys, in my head though I have always thought that I should have a lesbian experience by the time I am 30. 30 is just around the corner and as yet I have not partaken in the drinking of the furry cup. Last week though I though that I may have had my first lesbian encounter.

Cue a trip to the Brazilian Butterfly, for those of you that are unaware the Brazilian Butterfly is a place where you can go for hair be gone, hair on your bajingo to be precise. As it was rolling around to wax time and I have admittedly been lax in pubis maintenance I thought I best get my shit sorted. I took myself over to the Brazilian Butterfly for a strip and rip. For my first Victorian wax I was shocked at how different it was compared to a West Coast Wax, normally in WA they give you the little disposable underpants to save your modesty (Look I know they cover nothing and all my "glory" is out for the world to see but its for piece of mind ok) but here I was escorted into the little cubicle, told to strip from the waist down and get on the table (normally I make them at least buy me a drink before this happens). I proceeded to do as I was told and let my dress keep my modesty until she returned. I was told to put my feet together and open my legs, she then proceeded to pour hot wax all over my lady parts. This is all pretty normal, but then shit got a bit weird. She told me to tuck my legs up to my chest, and you can imagine what this reveals to the world when you are not wearing under garments.

So what does all of this have to do with my thought that I may have actually had a lesbian experience, well you see every time she would walk back to refill her wax stick with the devils goo she would trail her fingers down my leg and when she would pull the wax off her fingers would quickly go to the affected area, while this is the normal practice the curling of the fingers is not. Was she like totally in to me or did she not have proper control of her fingers? Also lesbian example number two, whilst my legs were tucked to my chest and my bottom hole was exposed to the world she ran the soothing gel from back to front with intense detail all up in there (does she not know the rules, you should always wipe FRONT TO BACK). I laid there in shock and she patted my mound and told me that I was done and could put my pants back on. She left the room and I was left wondering if I was a lesbian. 

I feel that my lesbianism will need to come in stages, maybe I could start off with one day kissing a girl and maybe the next day touching her boobs and then finally touching her garden. I know it really makes no sense and I got told that I should just jump straight in but it turns out that I may actually be scared of the Vagina.  I might need to enter into the lesbian  pool slowly, toes first. And really it is not surprising that I am scared of the Gina when I had a dream the other night that I started to make out with a women (it started off pretty hot I will admit) It started off with a bit of kissing, then maybe I touched her boobs and then when my hand wandered south of the equator and found the "sweet spot" and suddenly out popped a penis. No Shit, it was a pretty traumatic dream and it made me think that maybe I shouldn't actually bother with girls because the girls are all boys anyway (or that maybe I should go to Thailand and find myself a lady boy because then really they are a lady that is a man).

So really now I am more confused than before, is Lesbianism before 30 really something that I want and really something that would actually be obtainable? I have another appointment at the Butterfly on the 27th and who knows, I may get more than I pay for. 

Love and Lips *cough*

Miss K 

P.S Actually I lie, I have had one experience with a Vagina. I think they call it birth and just the mental image of that has sent me running for the hills and away from all of the gardens in the land in pure fear.