Its National Best Friends Day today, a day where you celebrate your ride and die and for the first time in my adult life I don't feel like I can say that I have a best friend. Please don't get me confused here, I am not saying that I don't have any friends because that would be a gross understatement, what I am saying is that I don't have a ride or die person anymore, Someone that I feel comfortable with telling all my secrets to. And I have come to realise that this is a situation of my own creation. As I have gotten older I have realised that not everyone is for you and despite all the work that you put in sometimes people just grow apart and the dynamics of a relationships change. Just because it has always been that way doesn't mean that it always will and that's ok. If it doesn't feel right, don't be scared to walk away.
I have been falling in and out of depressive episodes in the last few months, and have come to realise that this may have a lot to do with the people that I have picked to surround myself with. As a way to try and snap myself out of it I decided that I needed some Daily Affirmations, to remind myself what I deserved and to help me to take the hard steps. They are -
Listen to your Gut
Cut the Ties
See the Silver Lining
Only Speak Good Thoughts
Realise that you Deserve Better
So with these affirmations in mind, why do we keep the people around if they are not serving us? Its pretty easy to cut them out of our physical world , we can stop seeing them, stop replying to their texts but its a little bit harder when it comes to interactions on line. I have always had a problem with deleting people from Social Media and I am not totally sure why. What do they bring to our lives but a sickish feeling in our gut when we see them posting or commenting? Why would we put ourselves through that willingly? Here is maybe why...
You want them to see how good you are doing with out them - Hey, look at me, having fun, living life, whoooo. Yet you are there obsessing if they've seen it and what they might be thinking,. You are keeping yourself in the loop when really its time to get out. Go out and do you, for you and stop worrying about what they think, because probably they don't actually care
You cant be Bothered with the Drama - because people put so much focus on the digital world, if you unfriend them its an issue of biblical proportions and they might start telling people its because you cant handle the truth or that they didn't do anything wrong. And that might be the case, but you don't need to justify your decisions to anyone and if these people are going to trash talk you, they will do it whether they can see your online life or not
You want to believe in the good in people - you hope their behaviour will change, that they will finally realise that you did good things for them and you cared for them and only ever wanted the best for them. Its taken me 35 years to realise that sadly this hardly ever happens, once the cards have been shown they rarely change
You want to see them succeeding - this one will probably sound odd and I will admit that it doesn't entirely make sense to me either, but I like to see people doing well and being happy and having good things happen in their lives. It doesn't matter if we aren't friends now, at one stage we were and my desire for you to excel has not changed. Everyone deserves the best and I like to see when people get it. It gives me hope that it will happen for me as well.
Not everyone is going to like you, and you would probably be living your life as a lie if they did. So with that in mind, maybe it is time to find the delete button. If someone will walk past you in the street or refuses to acknowledge you if you try pleasantries, THEY DO NOT DESERVE A PLACE ON YOUR FRIEND LIST!!!!!!!!! And trust me, you life will be so much better when they are gone. The sickish will be gone, your feed will be calmer and you can just concentrate on living your best life. A small circle is way better than a circle filled with sharks
While scrolling through my feed the other day a beautiful soul that I know posted about how the People around you are a reflection of the person that you are and I believe that she is 100% on the money with this statement. If the people around you don't reflect the person that you want to be, its probably time to find new people. This week I have gotten inside my head and started to believe that people treating me badly was because I deserved it because I was a bad person but I am trying to give up the blame. There may be some truth in the statement but there is also the resounding fact that not everyone is nice and has your best interests at heart.
I have been working on this post for the last week and out of curiosity I have been watching my friend numbers on Facebook. When I started I was sitting at 1005 and on checking just now I am on 1001, and you know what gets me the most about it all? the fact that its so close to being a nice even number. The people who deleted me have their reasons and I am not taking it personally, if I see them in the street I will still smile and say hello in passing. Because we never know the struggles that people are going through or how our actions might effect them.
So I did it, I hit the delete button on a few people that at one stage of my life were my ride and die, its ok to miss what was but its also important to remember what is now. I believe I have another ride or die coming for me, because despite all my faults, I am worth something and I deserve that (and so do you, if you need reminding of that). Its never to late to stand up for yourself and find a different circle.
Love and Deletion
Miss K
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