So it would appear that the year that was 30 has marched very quickly forward without me really noticing and 31 is knocking on my door (in like 10 days or something) and I am not going to lie, I am probably more scared about turning 31 than I was about turning 30. I spoke to a lady on the phone the other day at work who was born the day before me and I asked her the same question and see too was worried about turning 31, though she was married and had some offspring so I guess she was a few up on me. But anyway here it is, the reasons that 31 is probably worse than 30... maybe...
31 is nearly mid 30s and mid 30s is nearly 40 and 40 is nearly retirement and I totally don't have my super all sorted out. You do my compare the pair and I would be on the losing end of that deal.
Every day that ticks by is another day that my boobs are defying gravity, soon enough that shit is going to hit the fan and I will wake up and my goods will be down around my knees. There is really no going back from that.
People expect you to have your life together, when in reality just being older doesn't actually generally make you wiser. At 31 (or 30) your car insurance decreases by a whole stack (well it would if I had a car that I needed to insure) so that must mean that the world expects that you are mature enough and at less of a risk of stupid stuff. Ha!!! what a fool the world is. I still hang out with hoons on the daily and I would totally be one as well if I could afford it.
EVERYONE is getting married, buying houses and popping out demon spawn offspring, and while this is awesome and its something that I want to do, at the moment its not something that is actually very attainable (what with me being single and all) but even knowing these facts it doesn't stop people from asking the question. So when are you getting married? well the short answer to that question is when I can find someone that is dumb enough to be sucked into my web.
And on this subject, it is inconceivable to be 31, single AND catless. One of the nice ladies at my work asked me the other day "So is your Husband going to do something nice for you for your birthday?" this was the conversation
Miss K: No husband
Lady: Oh, Boyfriend?
Miss K: Nope no boyfriend either
Lady: what about a cat, do you have a cat?
Miss K: No cats even
Lady: *touching my hand* its OK, it will happen one day.
With age comes wisdom and you start to have a conscious understanding of the things that you put into your body. When I was 17 and first got my license I had a thing for McDonalds, with my new found freedom came a new found hunger and we would do Ronald Runs most days . As an adult the idea of that turns my stomach and I know that if I did that I would be the size of a house. I guess with age comes a slower metabolism and a moment on the lips equals a life time on the hips.
I haven't really achieved anything in the year that was 30, I had all these grand plans that things would be different, I would have my finances in order, be climbing the corporate ladder at a steady rate and be wearing high end designer clothes (actually I don't know that I ever thought that) but in reality NONE of those things happened. I went from being permanently employed in a job that I tried really hard in but still sucked at to working in a job that I seemingly excel at but only on a temporary basis. And here is a little FYI for the folks playing at home, if you are a temp you don't get paid for public holidays and by Golly there is a lot of them at the start of the year. I worry every month about how I am going to pay my rent. That sucks.
With age come more expensive tastes. I want to buy art, and classic pieces of furniture and Burberry trench coats. It appears that getting older is all about want want want. I wish wish wish I had the money to attain all my wants.
I am in the target demographic to use anti ageing cream, the media shoves it in my face and my favourite fem blogger goes on about the benefits of eye cream but I just haven't jumped on board that train. I still use Nivea "Young" to wash my face. I look young at the moment but I am probably going to be like one of those Asians, young one minute, 107 the next. Actually I did buy some Oil of Olay but it makes my skin feel funny (and its the one for Sensitive Skin as well) so I kind of just gave up on it
Turning 31 takes away a large percentage of boys that I can hit on without being creepy. At 30 I probably could have gotten away with hooking up with a early 20 something but at 31 it is probably deemed as a lot less acceptable. That one year seems to make a big difference. I wonder at what age women start lying about the age that they actually are? If this is that age then I can lie and say that I am 28 and keep hitting on the juvies.... maybe?
Looking back over my list it would appear that all of these things that I am feeling about growing older are born more out of peoples expectations rather than my own desires. People expect me to be something and I guess I am just not there yet, so maybe being that little bit older doesn't actually mean anything. Fuck the haters and all their expectations. DAMN THE MAN, SAVE THE EMPIRE (and for those of you that are not familiar with Empire Records that line will not have as much cultural significance as it does to me). Age is just a number and I am going to live this good life now. And heck while my boobs are still in a relatively satisfactory position you can bet your bottom dollar that everyone is going to see them. Hey maybe being older has its perks, I would never have had the confidence to send my "Perk" to anyone in the past. Long live the revolutions.
Love and Lines (they will come soon I am sure)
Miss K
